To be fair 25.82 of those seconds were spent between 1st and 2nd base as Ortiz tried and failed to answer the question, "Who but W.B. Mason?"

Oh, whoops. Mods, please delete this thread and launch me into space.

Wow, it's just like the video game.

The joke is I'm a terrible person.

"Pants and Tits" is also the nickname the tabloids gave to Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi.

Good luck, kid. I ask for pants and tits every year and I just keep getting pants.

Terrible request. Once you have the tits you no longer want to wear pants

"Please use a condom."

I am very interested in the rest of this story, mainly because I'm 40 and I want to know how much longer I have to wait before giving frat bros a boot to the head myself.

I'm so confused. It looks like they got off on the right foot, but then a fight started.

Gifed:

The old man has been charged with dropped-out-before-first-degree assault.

So that's how it's done??

Contrary to analysts' opinions, the Wildcat is apparently alive and kicking.

clearly a fan of swallowing.

The field assistants got there three seconds before the ref ate that dog.