So...Rent-a-Swag?

So glad I switched from Chase to a credit union. When the person from Chase asked why I was switching, I said, "That whole malfeasance thing."

Shout out to my Jezzies, today! You guys are killing the comments on this one, sitting here laughing so much I have the hiccups! I'd like to propose something for the dad to wear to remind him of the creepy sexual promise between him and his daughter. May I present to you the Promise Cock Ring! Behold:

Frosting has more integrity than your ex-boyfriend

I think this writer loves perfume almost as much as I hate perfume. I will seriously change seats on the subway when someone with detectable perfume comes within range of my senses.

I cannot beleive you would end this story with a reference to Miley, even if that's for "perspective". Since my great grandfather was murdered during La Violencia, my perspective of this is plain contempt and disgust; so I'm going to give you much unsolicited advice on how to write about conflict:

Ha ha! I was scrolling through this list with interest, getting myself all excited (internal squees!). And then I remembered, I'm poor. Whomp.

The only things my cat responds enthusiastically to are the shaking of the treat bag and the clink of her food dish. And I respect her for that.

Oops, I am the sister in the house. #freeloader

My parents are going, and I'm an only child. I'd never hear the end of it. I plan to bring vodka.

It's good that Jessica Simpson got her body back. The pictures were terrible when she was a disembodied consciousness that floated around like a fluorescent cloud.

Can someone get me some sugar for my tea because it is BITTER here in these comments.

The whole Jennifer Lawrence-David Letterman interaction reminds me of when I am telling an awesome and hilarious story to someone who just does not exist on the same wavelength as me and does not think I am funny. But I am! I am delightful! That person is just a humorless dick. (In this, I am of course Jennifer and…

I'm with it. Do your thing female bodied persons!

Rape isn't just a "plot device". It is a very real action that happens to many women. Many women actually KNOW their rapist. Putting this in the forefront of our minds might upset some people but... GOOD. Get upset. And now start thinking and knowing that this ACTUALLY HAPPENS. It isn't just something that "happens on…

wtf is the COAT budget alone on this show?! jelly, very very jelly

WOwww sorry but this is bad. FOR EXAMPLE: can you imagine if they featured underneath the definition of "retarded" : informal foolish; stupid: making students wait for the light is kind of a retarded rule."

Devon Sawa, my 12 year old heart will always be yours.

Well, my sarcasm meter must be broken today. Your imitation of a blithering idiot is spot on.