Actually, if you think saying the phrase "whoring yourself out" is ok, you're not really sex-positive. Let's just be honest and say that sex-positivity isn't really part of your feminism.

"I don't even have a phone with a camera on it!"

That's what I have! Window to your vagina, hahahaha that is exactly what it is. I once asked my husband if it would be weird to ask him to put his wiener through the hole so I could see what I would look like with a penis. He said yes, That's weird. And my butt sticks out too much for that to work, dammit.

It's whatever makes you feel bad about your own body.

What if we gave our duckfaced n'er do wells the obligation to engage with the real processes of death, to remind them that when someone dies that there is a real corpse and real grief left behind. Death is not an abstract concept. They could take part in a physical and emotional ritual beyond awkwardly lining up to…

I'm waiting for the guys who were whining about women tricking them with extreme make-up to complain about the media tricking them into idolising an unreal ideal. Not holding my breath though.

• The International is an inorganic debutante ball.

I was introducing myself to a fellow twin mom this afternoon and of course had to ask what her boys' names were. Her reply? Baylor and Brigand. My reply was LINEMOUTH.

Don't get into a political debate with your friend's libertarian boyfriend.

When I finally have my day, like It's Always Sunny when Mac had Mac Day, I am going to make my friends do this.

Forearms, hands down. Rolled up sleeves showing off forearms gets me every damn time.

You leave Star Trek out of this!

We all need friends like you.

Sports arena proposals are the WORST, in my opinion. We've got Rex Sox season tickets (aside: go Sox!), and basically every weekend all summer there's a proposal and every single time it's cringe-city, at least for me. Like, 90% of the time the proposee looks super uncomfortable. And Wally's there, watching, always…

I am restraining myself from giving my two cents about the "friend zone." That is a blood boiler for me. Can men really not get over their assumed right to a woman's body and accept the fact that their female friend does not want to sleep with them? And that she's not "screwing with them on purpose," and that it is…

Study after study shows that the elderly enjoy throwing babies into pools of sharks.

Study after study has shown that feminism has made women less happy.

One of my favorites from the failblog.

He dismisses girl scout cookies but then advocates the use of a MAGIC marker. Start getting too much into that stuff and next you know your daughters will be using their dark magic to force you to buy them Dungeons and Dragons books and hobby gaming supplies! Let's keep our eyes on the REAL evil here.