It's only a matter of time.

The "E" story shows a picture of the giant cross he just had tattooed on his chest. Born again in 10, 9, 8, ......

I will now think of this (and snicker) whenever I see him.

The baby diarrhea color is NOT golden yellow.

How much longer can Jaden Smith's forehead bear up under the strain of all that worrying?

Oooh - look at Queenie! She's wearing a sparkly dress and smiling!

Remember when the whole Cyrus clan used to pretend to be born again?

She liked me - she was happy about being a grandmother. He was her only son, which meant he'd been spoiled and babied beyond belief, and our marriage didn't last a year.
He did have pretty green eyes, though.

I was 7 months pregnant. I almost laughed myself into a miscarriage.

Bizzle sounds like a euphemism for dog penis.

Bode Miller is a complete ass - but this was shit "journalism."

Women are still treated like dirt in the world of sports reporting. Cooper's shitshow did nothing at all to advance the rest of the women who are trying hard to carve out a place for themselves.

Not only is there a death penalty, but electrocution is still an option.

That's knyckyr lovyrs to you, sport.

But wouldn't we spell it Pyntyz?

Before I married husband #1, my future mother-in-law gave me a little talk about how most women don't enjoy sex, but we must lie back and endure, because it is our wifely duty.

Oh, those pesky olds, coming in and ruining everything.

I'm old, and I could have happily lived out the rest of my days without ever thinking about Tom Arnold or his testicles.

Damn you, Lindy.

Dear Internet: Think back to what the Kardashian empire was founded on, and then kindly stop pretending outrage.
(A paucity of reportage on the acktivities of the klan would not be unwelcome.)

One may always quote Molly Ivins. In fact, one MUST.

I can hear him (in my head) dissing this on Project Runway: "If you saw her walking down the street in this, you'd want to put money in her cup."