It’s still real to me damnit!

When asked what would happen when the Raiders scored the designers commented that the question never really crossed their minds.

I can't believe you actually fell for ol' fluoride treatment gag. On the plus side, now you know semen gives you a stomach ache.

A walk-in 40... I'm crying. I'm crying for the server. I'm crying for the host and bussers who had to put that table together. How does a group of 40 people not have a single person in it that says MAYBE THIS IS A BAD IDEA AND MAYBE THIS IS RUDE.

The fact that the dumb white guy's last name was "Ferguson" pretty much proves that the universe has an inherent drive towards irony.

Crawfish are BITE-SIZE LOBSTERS. That's American as fuck.

Now I did say there were exceptions...and that's the number ONE exception!!!

COTY

If you were to lose traction with them, would it be called an electric slide?

This is from the Los Angeles County Fair last year:

The guy who made it sent me the link. It's strawberry rhubarb ketchup, which...actually works in the context.

How is it possible that I am a vegetarian and don't eat sweets and I want that in my chew hole? What kind of voodoo is this??

Sweet pickles are not good on anything.

It's difficult to describe. The closest I can come is to say it tastes like a heart attack, but in a good way.

excuse me, Wisconsin, but you did not invent the patty melt, so calm the fuck down.

Pro-tip: ride the rides FIRST.

Know what this needs? My maple bourbon spread. Because said spread involves butter, egg yolks, booze, and multiple types of sugar, and this dish clearly needs all of those.

1. Live in or visit a state in the U.S.A.

There was a loooong discussion about this on another Kitchenette post recently. The order you describe is only weird if you assume that the only reason someone would order a Diet Coke is to save calories. But many of us actually like the flavor of Diet Coke better.

Diabeetus, come at me bro.