You're joking with that, right? Ironic humor? Saying something that only a fucking moron would say and pretending you're serious? That's what I thought.

Damn liberal media with their dog-walking agenda.

I had a golden named Belle who died a few years ago. A toast to our girls.

Black Velvet in that little boy smile. Black Velvet, your C7 was crushed from that pile.

Schneider to Carroll: "We really needed more help on the O-line, but jeez, I'd hate to disappoint the poor kid."

Want to go get a drink?

"Hi, I uhhhh... Need to buy some shin guards for my, ummmm, son. Do you purchase yours via Guanghang Province so as to reduce the shipping costs associated with the Hengshi tariff? I bet you guys really piss off Consolidated Plastics with that huh? I mean... Ummm... Do they come in blue?"

Trailer park bear, known scientifically as Ursus Americanus-Flagus Shirtus.

Well, there is that kid Rutherford Wellington IV, from New Hampshire. His parents died in a Harry and David factory explosion and fire.

Funny satirical twitter accounts have a very short shelf life. DadBoner is way overdone at this point. One could argue that CondeElevator was never really that funny to begin with. When they're strung them along for purposes of money and fame, while understandable, they really wear out their welcome.

Tragically, outfielder Willy E. Coyote was pronounced dead at the scene.

They're human. They have to sleep. So find out when they sleep, and then blast "All Things Considered" as loud as it will go.

Apparently his family has a very significant and traceable history of slave ownership and there's lots of old money from the profits still in the family's coffers. To his credit, he has acknowledged it.

Think he'll present 12 Years a Slave?
Cuz, you know...... Awwwwkwardddd.

The fruit is so low-hanging it's underground.

You're right. I have called someone "fag" before. Then I turned 13 years old and started to realize that it was a shitty thing to do.

Religion is a choice. Sexual orientation isn't a choice. By either not understanding that or choosing not to accept that, you'll remain part of the problem.

Fuck off. It was unfunny, and also mocking a pretty brave person for simply being who he is, by suggesting that he's somehow less of a man. It's stupid and insulting and worth being upset about.

American Ski Pole Karen Carpenter Not Eating It

Bright Eyes barely ever existed. It was always just a faceless life-support system for Conor's solo career. He's always seemed to think of himself as a solo artist.