"I wouldn't disparage any BBW's for blowing hard. Wait, what are we talking about?"

We've got a lot better talent than Jacksonville.

"If we're talking NFL running backs past and present, I still think my bust is the biggest."

Goddamn it; well done.

Yearly WAR breakdown of Cano projection - 5.5, 5.2, 5.0, 4.6, 4.0, 3.3, 2.8, 2.2, 1.6, Year 10 = good God y'all what is he good for?

Did Rob Ford Steal Someone's Seats* At The Bills Game?

Clever comment.

Or 55,898 really fat chicks for $10 a piece.

Schutt, this sucks.

Brilliant. +1

"Squirrel Nines" have also become the weapon of choice among squirrel gangsters.

"Former tiger Charles Barkley was spotted"

"The cocky-ass nod-and-grin as Russ struts back into frame, the goofy noises coming from someone near the camera, the excited old lady just clapping and clapping..."

"Fuck mascots, I wear ties."

"Well played NBA, well played", thought Kidd as he began planning his "finger down the throat, vomit on the floor" timeout strategy.

The 33-year-old can hardly walk anywhere on campus without being swarmed by fans...because his feet are essentially skin wrapped around a collection of bone fragments, shredded ligaments, and metal alloy screws.

"Nobody ever lets me make any decisions", thought JumboTron. As if it wasn't hard enough being Calvin Johnson's fat younger brother.

Teddy Roosevelt Assaults Opponent By Swinging a Big Stick at His Head.