Aren't situations like this the reason that those personal quadcopter drones with GoPros attached to them exist? Why aren't we flying one of those things down there?

No shit. I understand the frustration, but not the anger. (The sense of surprise and indignation is hilarious - you're texting a club promoter, not a fucking camp counselor.)

You really don't read, do you?

That would be 1-8% of accusations that are reported to the police turn out to be false, no? So we don't know how many total accusations turn out to be false.

I can be done.

Isn't this just a picture of Dubai?

"Mayhaps thee wilt moveth the stoane a bit to thine left? Nay, nay, thou hast pushed with excessive vigour. Perchance thou couldst move it back to thine right?"

Don't leave a kid alone in a car.

This is all the hard-hitting science I need on the subject of crocodiles, thank you very much.

I adore kids and have volunteer jobs working with them, but I don't want to eat near them in restaurants, either. I especially don't want to listen to them cry or hear mom repeatedly chastising Little Timmy to sit still or chew with his mouth closed.

If I could avoid having kids in neighboring booths that stand up and FUCKING STARE at you with their gross little blank sticky faces I would happily pay extra to do so. Unfortunately these tables seem to get seated once we're already happily settled and have ordered food. Ugh I really wish people would just cook for…

Random story alert:

The first movie I consciously remember seeing is Predator.

done!

"DO NOT OPEN, NOT ONLY WILL YOU DIE, IT WILL HURT THE ENTIRE TIME."

Are we sure about that?

Yiddish Policeman's Union

Ghostbusters 2 is, apparently, a phantom film that people believe exists, but doesn't. Like the alleged Highlander 2 and Highlander 3.

Well, the shit is really gonna hit the fan when the lovely folks over at Esquire find out that he knocked up a not-42-year-old.

All of these require a significant amount of trimmings or stuff which unless you are a grower, or know one, is expensive or just not available.