I once lifted up my mattress to adjust the fitted sheet. On the bed frame below I found a soft but not decaying jalapeno. My SO denied putting it there, and no way I would bring fresh produce into the bedroom, much less waste a jalapeno by tucking it under my bed. Am I the Princess and the jalapeno?! Did a witch put…

I was driving to work one day, a commute involving multiple freeways in Northern California, and I remember approaching the junction I took to catch the southbound freeway. The next thing I remember, I was a few miles down the southbound freeway. I freaked that I had gone into autopilot mode while driving, then…

Roasted red pepper and sweet white onion, with provolone and sharp cheddar, on sourdough.

I’m pretty sure it’s well known that after he turned round that plane and he let that money hit sky, he then turned round his plane (again?) and headed out for the stars.

When news of this was initially posted on Gawker I was APPALLED (though not surprised, really) to see how many people were almost giddy about Manning attempting suicide, as though being pushed to experience severe depression and suicidal thoughts is part of the punishment process and not textbook “cruel and unusual…

That’s the one. That’s why literally every tenured professor, as well as every student, at Harvard is a bilingual undocumented queer woman of color, and White men are only allowed on the premises as security guards and footstools.

I’ve actually heard people say “It’s pointless to ban guns because then murderers would just use something else.”

Patience is key. My pup had really, really bad separation anxiety when I first got him. He imprinted on me and would try and run away when I was at work and my roommate walked him. He shredded two sets of blinds, kept me up all night... But a lot of it just went away. I got him a crate after about three months and…

I am not one for believing in the afterlife. But whenever I had the need to talk to someone in a different way than in person, I would talk to one of my grandfathers who had passed. It gave me a sense of peace when I would do it. I think you have that with your auntie now. And maybe she isn’t there to hear your good…

I second that, my father died almost eight years ago and I still catch myslef thinking Daddy would know the answer to that question...oh.

Hey there, that's really rough. I'm so sorry for you and your lovely cat. Don't apologise - the weight of everyone's problems is totally subjective, and the potential loss of your companion is as important as anything else. Sending good thoughts your way, and hoping kitty starts eating again tomorrow! Xo

I got a bit of good news and I wanted to tell my aunt but I remembered I couldn’t.

Look at all this stuff I got done yesterday evening! LOOK AT IT! Unfortunately I have a messy-ass family and half of it needs to be done again, but I can't because I'm very busy patting myself on the back.

Applied for QA at work. Had my boss write me a list of accomplishments(I don’t pay attention, I’m not usually much for ego)

I had a crazy father without a gun in the house. I am pretty sure that is why my mom and I are alive today. Some crazies have limits and they stop at the first blow, with a gun the first blow is often fatal. A gun amplifies everything.

Yep, multiple people within the last year. Also have a friend who witnessed his father murder his siblings and was also attacked but survived.

I do - FUCK THE NRA

I kind of doubt anyone flipping a burger trying to make their way through life has the time to worry about a meteorologists clothing ensemble. BUT, I get what you’re saying.

That would explain him going back on his words, forgetting things he’s said and so many other issues he has had.

But the thing is, saying, “Well, even if it isn’t true it’s the sort of thing they’d do” is what Hillary has had to put up with for twenty-five years. Benghazi, Vince Foster, crackpipe Christmas decorations, flinging heavy objects at Secret Service people, secret email servers that leaked information to China,…