You are 100% right. I had a similar thing happen to me. LDR, I was getting ready to fly down (he bought my tickets!) and a week before, a mutual friend shows me the “just married” Facebook post. So I got drunk, paid $.99 to get her email address from one of those creepy sites, bundled every email and text and IM, and…

Smashmouth needed toast to go with his eggs.

Snail is amazing. Mizon snail repair something or other has been a miracle for my aging skin AND for my 17-yo son’s acne.

I have a cat that will cut you for a brussel sprout.

I got that Avène water in a box and I never saw any difference in my skin, but I keep the can in the fridge and it’s a little bit of heaven when it’s hot and I’ve been dicking around in the sun. Of course a spray bottle from the dollar store would probably work just as well.

I made my sister’s bouquet out of kusudama flowers too. One of her husband’s aunts suggested she throw it and I’d still like to give that aunt a good paper cut just for the thought. Plus that fucker was heavy and would probably kill someone.

And is that fucking “tidy” right above quiet? Tidy? For real we still use this word?

They're like little vacuum pads, you can see all the white crap in them. The zit has to be real close to the surface or even oozing or you just waste a sticky thing. Hydrocolloidal bandaids are supposed to be the same thing, but I haven't tried that yet.

I'll second those patches. They are so disgustingly awesome. Put it on at night and it's full of gross the next morning.

United States Air Force Basic Military Training. Thirty women that were only allowed to use two stalls out of ten and 18 year old me with explosive diarrhea. That was a bad day.

I love that movie! I made my mom and my sister watch it and they did NOT get it. HOW CAN ANYONE NOT LOVE THIS MOVIE?

Unless you get cremated, because your mortician will take them out so they don’t explode and make a mess in the oven.*

I always mix him up with Brent Spiner for some reason. This led to five minutes of "Why is Mariah Carey dating Data?"

I usually use the Red Carpet Gel kit. I've never had any issues with that, but the BMC? Man. I scuffed it up first, wrapped in foil, got a heating pad. I was pretty close to breaking out the dremel. I'm glad I didn't, my nails are beat up and thin enough after the whole thing. I'm tempted to try it with the Red Carpet…

Oh god I have nail polish issues.

I use those white triangle makeup sponges. Rip one in pieces and dab the (shaken up) polish on there. Pat that on your nail. The sponge will soak up a ton of the clear base, leaving glitter to stay behind You do make a mess on the skin around the nail, but it's worth it.

I have a similar problem with my fattyfatcat. She was found in an apartment after the owner had been taken to jail (no idea how long the cats been alone), and now she flips out if the food bowl is empty. I mean screaming and yowling and attacking her tail until there's blood. I got a food puzzle ball and that has cut…

I think those first two used one of those lip sucker things that are supposed to give you Full Luscious lips (turn your volume down for this one):

This is the best idea for today.

I found this and it was like a light bulb going off over my head: