I can do math, and I'm coming out shitty no matter what.

I think that is a belly button ring?

Not gonna lie, I love whipped cream vodka (or marshmallow) in hot chocolate. I've been out of high school for mumblety years now.

Don't OD on any Cold-Eeze man.

I just did this weird giggle/gag thing. I gaggled.

I don't even need to be in BFF threesome. Just let me in the same room. I'll refill the wine, something.

I guess "suntan" pantyhose grow on farms somewhere?

I don't know how to reddit and link to the thread, but this User pulled the comments since most of them were downvoted (rightly so).

As long as you're okay with a dog, two cats, and a sarcastic teenager, let's do this.

In my experience, because it's "beneath" them. They're too good for that, why should they lower themselves? And of course when they get fired, it's because someone was picking on them or just didn't understand their geeeeeenius.

Exactly how handy with tools? My house is falling down around my ears and I don't have time to fix the goddamn faucet because work. I'm perfectly willing to tear down my garage and build a beautiful library in exchange for no longer receiving The Pity Face at family gatherings.

1) Deadbeat parents: Only 25% of court-ordered child support is actually collected. I don't know what the person that 'worked for an attorney' is talking about, all an ex has to do is move across state lines and it becomes next to impossible to get support. So good luck paying that $200,000 on your own.

My mom's cat, Blue J. Badcat wants to know why it's gotta be non-alcoholic.

I really think I need to learn cross stitch so I can put this on a little sampler.

I'm wearing the mint color and I'm getting pissier as the day goes on. It's just all sorts of chipping. Even with a base coat and a good top coat, it's coming off in weird chunks.

I have the elf nail polish set. And it's crap. Even for $9.99 for 12 mini-polishes, it's crap. The colors are just regular colors, I was hoping for something more villain-y? But nope, just "mint" and I think one is "nude." The brushes are stiff and the formula is thick so you get brush marks.

Their business model is to tell you that you have to go through a "process" and be approved by a "board" of women to be accepted into their group. After an interview, you're accepted and then they're all "Hey, how about $995? No? Um, well I'd hate to see someone of your caliber lose out on this networking opportunity,…

We made that for my mom's birthday. I'm going to have to make these cupcakes so I can top it for grossness.

I'm still in Youngstown. Someone send help please.