Where the fuk did you live that all the veggies were seasoned with ham?

You are correct. In addition, birds were not originally considered "meat", but added so that people wouldn't make "mistakes".

Huh. I'd honestly forgotten about that one, probably because I've never heard it used in a food-sense.

I'm pretty sure that's still a chip butty. Sounds better than "french fry sandwich"

I don't care what his logic is, he's still right: no mayo on fries.

Really? So what the hell is a lobster if not a shellfish? I'm completely serious.

I had the full small-town upbringing, in Maine none the less (Maine is still something like 98.7% white). By the time I was hitting my 20s we had a whopping two black families move into the area. Now I'd spend several extended stints away by that point; college, work and the like; but there were some people in town…

I'm not even sure how much I would pay for something like that; I can't put a price on "greased floors + other people" in my head. Then again, I go to a mediocre mob-run Russian restaurant just because they have the most ridiculous bathrooms (the urinals are naked women, there are tv screens showing the club…

Not at all; everyone in this story will ultimately be fine (and possibly not even remember the event in 10 years). In the other case, there's permanent impact to the world as a whole.

Donner/shwarma.

Now, this is something I do that's only possible because (a) I only drink black coffee, no milk (b) my office is exclusively "instant in a jar". Where most people would leave space to top up with milk, I top up with cold water. Why? Because I want to start drinking my barely-tolerable instant swill now, not in 15…

That's not conspiracy. It's fucking science.

You know I don't remember the last time I was in a place with filter brew? It's either espresso or fucking instant. Sometimes I just want a mug of black coffee. Is that too much to ask for?

To be fair, there's a difference between going to a coffee-establishment and expecting to be able to order any coffee-including beverage and going to an Italian place and wanting spring rolls. A coffee shop is a bar for people who aren't alcoholics (so I'm not too familiar with them, honestly), and you basically go…

Seriously? What is Assassin's Creed doing here? A recently-released game that doesn't have an even remotely finished game engine or world interface? It's one of the least complete games released on the console. I honestly don't understand what gets it listed as one of the best other than nostalgia.

Oh, but don't you know you shouldn't drink spirits away from your personal drinking-couch if you're over 30?

An HD remake of FF7 is one of the few games that I'm sure they could keep increasing the price to whatever they felt like and make money. Sure, we could sell 10,000,000 copies for £20, but there's 6,000,000 people who will pre-order for £100.

I tried something similar a few years back. My monitor was a 30"+ beast at 1600 vertical resolution. So I took four movies in four different windows, divided up the screen, and balanced the audio so that I could properly hear all of them. It was quite an interesting night.

No one ever taught him that "dough" means "dough".

Wait, are there resteraunts where you can just order a place of itallian sausage? Because that sounds awesome.