Just do what the rest of us do: sprinkle your dick with cinnamon and nutmeg.

WELL EXCUSE US FOR WANTING TO DREAM.

Personally, I'm all for Ray Rice playing this season. In fact, I think he should have his suspension lifted and that he be used as a feature back and an integral component of their offense.

In trying to think of a word to describe the way in which Goodell has handled this case, "clusterfuck", was the best I could come up with, and I think that's being generous.

So the 2nd half to Yakety Sax?

You don't realize how horrible 90% of cartoons are until you watch them as an adult. Popeye was full of violence and attempted rape. Tom & Jerry had murder. The Smurfs had a man who wanted to EAT the little blue buggers. Thank god for childhood innocence.

Mark, I hate you. Also I love you. But I hate you.

Gross explanation by medical student:

Oh, Angie.

Her entire veil/ back of her dress is covered in drawings from her kids.

Russia is the embodiment of that gif of a crab ripping off its own arm. "You want to hurt Russia?!?! RUSSIA HURT RUSSIA FIRST, RUSSIA HATERS!!@%#"

So here's a bit of anecdotal evidence of Russia's idiocy from my recent trip to Belgrade, where I stumbled upon a bunch of Russian tourists and we got chatting. I was walking in the park with my newborn and was approached by a couple who had strayed from their group and also had a little baby with them. Straight away…

john and jane are fucking dicks so we shouldn't even be inviting them to this wedding.

"Documents also allege Patel took drugs ordered from Hong Kong to try to abort the pregnancy.

I had no idea Margaret Atwood was getting into crime fiction. I take it this is a synopsis of her new novel. I want to reject that this is anyone's reality.