I'm babysitting a ten year-old boy who loves football and he wanted to watch the announcement, so we did. If he was my son, I would have said no and talked about rape culture, but that is not the kind of thing you can spring on someone else's kid.

Oh honey. Don't even go there with Burt. I am sanctioned by the International Committee of Deep Fried Foods (Helsinki Chapter, amateurs) as an official fried food expert (I'm currently a Level 49-A). A nugget/fritter does not a "Cornball" make.

You Northerners. I feel so sorry for you.

I'm so excited I just blue myself!

No, NEVER. The pain is the secret ingredient.

FINALLY SOMEONE POSTS THE MEANING OF LIFE ON THE INTERNETS.

Um, if Taylor Swift, a newly 24 year old, is calling a 17 year old her new bestie, that tells me all I need to know about Taylor's level of maturity, tbh.

I have to admit that this Lance Armstrong downfall fills me gleeful schadenfreude. I lived in Austin during the height of the Lance years, and that guy was THE BIGGEST douche. Like, he was King of the Douchebags. The Greatest Douche Who Ever Douched. He made everyone take up motherfucking biking and at one point…

I feel like this had to have started as fan fiction. Surely, right?

Oh, and this ONLY worked when all the Hanna Barbera detective character groups got together. JabberJaw hanging out with Scooby Doo? I can buy that!

Uh, she BEST not be naming her child Ravenia Devilsclaw, because that is MY baby name. Maleficent needs to step. off.

is it wrong that I want Jafar's son to be old enough so I can have a cartoon crush on him.

I want this. I want this and I want all the amazing fanfiction that's going to come after it.

Tis what happens when you listen to greatness without protection. Kids, never forget to keep your ear buds wrapped!

I put this up last week in the name of holiday spirit(s). What can I say? I like a Christmas tree I can drink.

And in the spirit of KINJA, here's Denton's tree.

I am no Beyonce stan, but I honestly CAN'T STAND shit like this:

Can we not do this please?