But they don’t own Jose Jormp-Jomp, do they?

Comedian: “..and I say to him, ‘Put that thing back in the box!’.”

UPDATE: The Browns have now traded all those Eagles picks to the Panthers. The Panthers have given a confused “Thank you” in return.

Millennials won’t remember, but Dinosaurs used to wear flannel and SOAP was something you’d wear on your feet.

This makes me [sic]

Heath has been my favorite USWNT player for some time, and especially after her elastico against Mexico last year.

I'm from the south so I know how devastating it is getting the clap from cousins.

Step 1. Don’t.

St Peter was actually quite nice until a string of devastating tornadoes in 1998 that basically leveled the entire town, save parts of Gustavus.

Can’t stop watching this for some reason.

Dorsey: Coach isn’t a big fan of Owen Wilson/Kate Hudson films anymore.

on the one hand you’re correct but on the other hand this is you rn

Whoa, where is this league that allows triple digits like that? 300 and 138 alongside 10 and 23?

Did not watch it so could someone explain: why is he wearing a white jersey for his goals and a black one when he accepts his MVP award?

I just moved to Seattle a few years ago, so I was a bit baffled by all of the #12 flags, banners, signs, and jerseys around the city. I figured it out recently, though: the "12" refers to 2012, the year the fanbase was established.

Mark Jackson responded, “While I disagree with his statements, I have a lot of respect for Bob as a veteran writer for one of our oldest newspapers. I feel like the globe has been around for 6,000 years.”

This is all the proof you really need.

Can we please get a rant from Magary?

ODB is a big baby, jesus.