NFL vs. Parking Enforcement is nature's Bengals vs. Panthers. No winners here gentlemen.

See how the system sets up the black man for failure? You tell him to run as fast as he can away from people then he gets arrested. Raycess

The incident marked the first time Shonn Greene has ever sped away from someone trying to catch him.

Lifetime ban!

I'll take Serena, thank you very much.

I'm probably about 56841480-2 if we're comparing records.

You're the '72 Flogging the Dolphins.

1990 13 years old: Heard the shower go on upstairs so I thought I was safe. I didn't hear or see my dad coming down the stairs as I was reclined in a chair furiously masturbating to Elizabeth Montgomery on a re-run of "Bewitched". My dad cleared his throat, went to the laundry room to retrieve a towel as I zipped up,…

Word of caution to all of you new parents out there: it's exhausting having a newborn in the house, and you have zero privacy piled onto your sleep deprivation.

Yeah, Jay, you see we really took a whooping. Cough up the ball like that and we'll never sustain drives. Polio head outta yo ass.

Marshall went on to say, "I told Jay there wasn't any sense in his mumping around. A measley fourteen points ain't worth a whoop or a holler in the NFL. I said to him, Jay, rubella get your head out your ass and get with the program. You playing like you might be chicken! A pox on that! We're all give you hep, a…

''Will you fight with your heart?''

Marshall: It's supposed to hurt!

Pollack looks like he smells that fart

You are good at this.

Florida- America's Dick.

Nerve tonic is a hell of a drug.

After getting up in a horrible mood, this made me laugh. Thanks, degenerate college students.

I loved the SEC in Mean Girls

Apparently the boycott of Gameday was only followed by those who write clever signs.