Crash of the Titan

Given unseasonably chilly conditions, authorities are not surprised the bridge iced the kicker.

"He looked over at me and said 'I'm going to kill everybody in your (expletive) vehicle. It was so random, so bizarre I was like, 'What?'"

In an effort to show solidarity with women, effective immediately, all Anheuser Busch facilities have been instructed to include, for the first time, the urine of *female* Clydesdales in its manufacturing process. We hope this demonstration of equality can provide some support to the larger cause.

Alcohol taking a stand against domestic violence and child abuse?

So maybe Anheuser-Busch isn't taking back its money or pulling its ads.

This all you guys got? Ha. #HTTR

HAIL TO THE REDSKINS

In related news, Giants fans mourn the passing of Eli Manning.

As a Phillies fan, you sir just made a wonderful joke.

I know 1 million sounds like a lot, but trust me you can blow a lot more on two aces.

5. Rings.

I kept waiting for the Jeter/Dan Snyder crossover stories. Sadly, they never came.

ehhh, based on an extraordinarily limited sample size and using only the power of my own observation, I can certainly see where playing in New York is tougher than playing in Chicago.

Thank you for expressing the views of the approximately 300,000,000 Americans who have the good sense not to live in NYC.

Good Lord, what is this the fourth Jeter hating article in 24 hours? Give it a rest, you guys sound like a scorned ex without the gift basket.

I'm surprised you can't buy pieces of him at the 9/11 museum.

Drew Magary, you are at your absolute best when you are shitting all over everybody. Huzzah!

Denny McLain, the paragon of integrity!

I've lost track. How many unwritten rules did he break?