This is why I never leave the house without a raw, 4-lb. beef roast and a can of bear spray, y'all.

The MWRA! Ages ago I was invited to a wedding that was held in a park in MA that was actually a reclaimed landfill. I'm from the area so I knew this. The couple getting married didn't (neither of them were from MA; they'd been in the area on some road trip while in college and loved it so they made it a destination…

I assume this song was on repeat while she designed the clothing line.

It's rare, but now and then Minnesotans still enjoy a taste of loot-frisk.

I'd love to have been there for that Chef's interview:

I'm really unclear on this whole notion of a thing you chose to do because it felt good at the time being your worst nightmare. I mean, when I was pregnant I would have nightmares that I forgot I was pregnant and got off-my-ass drunk, or (one terrible night) that I was about to give birth and suddenly remembered that…

"That's my worst nightmare, I cheated on my wife,"

BookExpo America in Chicago, 2004. I was at a late-night party for some erotica publishing company and I was not feeling it at all. It was late, I was tired, and BEA was winding down and it was really just time to go HOME already.

She's enjoying some rekreashawn and relaksashawn.

If you're not a Basic Bitch, you're probably an Acidic Bitch.

"Seventeen-year-old Lorde is the youngest of the women to perform with Nirvana and was born two years after Cobain's death." —punched right in the feels of oldness.

Are we sure she's not just trying to get the most out of her Costco membership?

usually eating meals consisting of a huge amount of a single fruit, such as two entire pinapples, five mangoes, two litres of orange juice, 1.4kg of apricots, or 20 bananas.

See, this is what happens when you don't read Hogwarts: A History.

OMG, Faith Hill cheated on some guy 18 years ago, ShowbizSpy?!?! Elsewhere in timely gossip, Tom Cruise filed for divorce from Nicole Kidman!

I firmly believe shower crying is the best therapy around.

Fine with me. Rep. Issa spent 18 months investigating it and came up with two things: Jack and Shit. The more the GOP drones on about Benghazi without producing anything, the more the public will realize how crazy the party is — and how little they have to say that means anything to the lives of their constituents.

My mini-pie does the same thing. What this picture doesn't show though is when they get so overcome with wonderment at your hair that they try and take it for themselves. Then it's much less "awww" and much more "OW OW LET GO"

I got all the way to the check-out at the supermarket today when I realized I forgot my Honey Maid Graham Crackers and I left the line to go stock up. "This is wholesome" FTW!

And I never want to eat in a restaurant again.