Ah, the food service weirdos. I currently work at a sandwich shop in the lobby of a university office building, and we get some strange ones. There's this guy who always comes up and asks for a veggie sandwich, hold the bread, hold the sauce, hold the dressing, hold the cheese. All he wants, literally, is a paper cup…

In college I worked the swing shift (8pm - 4am) at the local Pilot Gas & Trucking station. It was one of the funnest jobs I've ever had. NO stress, homework at night and some of the craziest people I've ever met. (Have you ever met a trucker at 1am?! OMG, amazing!) But this Pilot also had a Subway in it AND was a…

I was totally in agreement with her thoughts on marriage. Until I met my husband. She's 16, and as she notes, she may change her mind. I got married at 34. Lots can change in those ensuing years. Or not. Smart sounding kid.

Oh don't even worry about the Holy Ghost, he was useless. Just runs around with a sheet over his head.

Or is he a graduate of the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too?

Yeah, I never really understood the appeal of shit like this. Better to get drunk in the company of a few friends and laugh our asses off than to get punched and molested in a drunken sea of amorality.

A drunk driver just recently totaled my beloved Honda while it was parked. He destroyed a car that used to belong to good friends of mine who are both dead, and my only means of transport (other than feets). He destroyed my iPod, some expensive textbooks (it was raining so the interior flooded), and knocked my…

I went to comic con today and got to see a firefly panel with Nathan Fillion, Alan Tudyk and Adam Baldwin. My son wore a semi-homemade Ash costume and people loved it, he kept getting requests for photos!

I NEED THE D.

8 months vs. the 9 month age range? What if he's a big kid for his age? A friend of mine had to turn her son's seat around to forward-facing because his legs were so long he couldn't sit comfortably rear-facing anymore - his knees were bent nearly to his chest. Car seat ages are estimations at best because kids are…

Larry Miller, really nailing it as one of the better movie dads, right up there with John Mahoney in Say Anything.

It took me awhile into reading the first paragraph to realize that "beef" meant argument and not actual beef, as in cow. I envisioned when Rachel made her beef dessert on friends and Joey chowed down.

Hamilton is going to lose his mind.

Once, I was playing a 6-person game of Risk. At the beginning of the game, some people discussed who they wanted to be allies with, while my strategy was a lot simpler: I advised everyone that the first person to attack me would be wiped off the face of the earth, at the expense of my own long term survival. I…

I used to work at Hobby Lobby in high school, and after I was let go basically for daring to be in after school sports and requesting time off so that I could be in a play, I proceeded to steal probably hundreds of dollars worth of art supplies and random petty shit throughout the years. I have no remorse. Where's…

note to conservatives: FEMINISM DOESN'T MEAN HATING MEN OR HATING FAMILIES! I am so fucking sick and tired of people claiming that my feminism means I obviously hate men and can't wait to be a single mother, ugh.

ZOE BARTLETT NOOOOO

My thoughts exactly. That apology had the feel of his wife yelling WTF WERE YOU THINKING ASSHOLE I BIRTHED YOU MOTHERFUCKING TWINS YOU WILL APOLOGIZE TOMORROW DO YOU HEAR ME OR IT'S THE CHESTERFIELD FOR YOU.
Great apology, though.

Looks like somebody's boss/wife/kids/mom had a little chat with him.