Rocket's stats include "Tendency to Bite." Amazing.

Die already, you gross, ossifying dinosaur!!!
Between this and the women politicians article, I'm starting to think all women politicians should be issues flaming bastard swords with which to rain down hell fire. It's pretty much the only option when patience comes to an end, and dear god had my patience with this shit…

I want to beat the crap out of every single one of those asshole anti-vaxxers after seeing this video.

To the anti-vaxxers: This is what whooping cough looks like in an infant. This is the misery you have wrought, you selfish, ignorant, scum-sucking assholes. I hope you all die in a fire.

For several years I've been thinking "Why don't you just clear your damn throat Rachel Ray".

I think that this also indicates a lack of real leadership on the team. Bullies flourish where legitimate authority fails to hold people accountable.

This is an ugly freaking day on Deadspin.

Here's what sports bars need to attract women:

The most dangerous sport in all of the games - winter AND summer - is the downhill. Women have been doing that for decades.

You hush your mouth! Encyclopedia Brown made way more sense than Woody.

I, too, have found that the best way to deal with special snowflakes is to just pretend they don't exist.

"I can see them from my house!"

I believe the condition is known as, Mr. Monopoly's Revenge.

That's what he gets for cleaning his monocle with Sochi water.

Has anyone noticed that Guy Fieri looks like the dude from ICP without the makeup?

Shouldn't Stewart be sporting the "C" on his jersey?

I think the creepiest part is how, at first glance, it kinda looks like Ian McKellen isn't wearing any pants.

Hey, shouting YOU SHALL NOT PASS would only improve Denver's secondary.

Derrick Coleman Sends Two Deaf Sisters to Freeze in New Jersey

The article says these phrases are used equally by men and women, but in my experience when they are used deceitfully it's women use them more often. Why? Because women are punished for being too direct.