Dig your heels in.

I had an aunt talk to me about taking cold showers as a way to burn calories once. I was eight. That was a totally not fucked up conversation.

It really works! When nobody's around, I go skinny dipping in the liquid nitrogen tank. And I've lost so much weight, I'm basically nothing but bone now.

When she was younger, my mother looked like Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music. When I was three or four I kept wondering where my other, older siblings were and asked my Mom if the Nazis got them. I was not the smartest of children but by god was I adorable.

Because the hat could go insane literally at any second and take you down with it. #bewarethefloppyhat

One does not wear a hip-length velour coat without first considering the pirate option.

Oh, wow. I didn't realize I was talking to one of you guys!

It's victim blaming. That's not a card we pull out, but an actual thing that happens.

Who the fuck messes with a baby puppy like this?

She was likely taken aback, tried to remain professional, or didn't want to risk the situation escalating.

Why does he keep waking it up instead of cuddling with it when it can't resist? What kind of monster shot this video?

You know you live in a bougie neighborhood when the top injuries are:

The problem is twofold.

I'm really sorry someone said that to you. I think you're a great poster and would love to see you in GT more and I'm sure others would too.

My concern with this isn't where the uteruses (uteri?) are going, but where they're coming from.

That reporter sounds like an asshole to me.

Poorly behaved children + momma in headphones = an opportunity to teach a toddler some expletives!

don't you figure the original ranter/writer is one of Those Guys that simply MUST take up every bit of space (and then some) because his balls are so freaking big? I rather doubt he spends a milisecond worrying about the woman sitting next to him that must tuck herself into a smaller ball so he can spread his legs as…

You're not thinking racist enough.