When we were little girls maybe our mom's should have focused more on telling us what not to put in our vagina instead of what not to put in our mouth.

I've pointed out in the past: lobster mac and cheese is the douchiest, most hipster side dish in existence. It's never as good as you think it's going to be, it'd ludicrously overpriced because lobster, and it's just an all-around disappointment.

A girlfriend of mine was involved in a terrible car accident that could have claimed her life. Instead, she walked away with only a few scratches. In talking about it, she confessed to feeling deep shame that her first thought after getting out of her car was that her beloved convertible was a write-off.

I do love this, but my first thought was that I was going to see a bunch of comment threads about cultural appropriation.

I'm sure she maturely and reasonably accepts their decision to—HAHAHA sorry, couldn't finish. I'm sure they're not "real women" to her. Barf.

Nope. We're not TP connoisseurs and it works fine. :)

Remember, you have the absolute right to free speech. Unless you're disagreeing with the right wing. Then you're just a bully and a troublemaker.

Growing up, I was never around babies much until my cousin was born. The first time I held him, my aunt told me to be careful because his head was soft, then left the room. As I sat there with my cousin in my arms, I asked my dad why my cousin's head was soft. My dad told me it was because babies are all born with…

I attended a snooty private school in the south when I was in the 7th grade. I was new and relentlessly bullied for a variety of shitty things and I was pretty miserable most of the time. Pretty early in the year, some piece of shit kid was making fun of me for being pale and scrawny (which I thought about later -…

Well, duh...the obvious answer to the Sherrif's question was "..because Jerry was carrying me..."

This won't win because it's only really relevant to me, but I have a colleague who lies ALL THE TIME about absurdly, gloriously unnecessary stuff. And she thinks we all believe her.

I met a guy told me his hobby was ultra marathons, which are 100 mile plus races over 5 days. He was telling me about the races he'd done in the sahara and how he fell into an anaconda pit during a race in the amazon. I thought he was a pathological liar at first, so I googled him, cause if you do that shit, you must…

The first 14 years he probably put a lot of thought into them and made really cute smileys with his messages.

This must be ... Sinkhole de Mayo?

My favorite part of that article: "In addition to the Northeast..."

They might be the same place. I mean think about it. Has anyone ever seen Russia and Florida in the same room?

aaaaaand here we go.....

I have cousins who have been married for over twenty-five years- and they live three doors down from each other. When people criticize them for not living together, my response is always, "So please, tell me all about your marriage that lasted only five years and how much better that was." :-) Find what works for you…

The only thing that will kill us faster is this constant use of goddamned portrait mode.

It was not too long ago when I was introduced to the concepts of bisexuality & pansexuality. At the time, they were presented as, "bisexual means you're attracted to two sexes, pansexuality means you're attracted to all gender identities. If you identify as either, you get to decide how to define these." This was…