I feel your pain. The only realistic thing I wanted from life was a wife and family, but that just didn't work out for me. Now I'm in my mid-30s and I have to realize that the life I wanted just isn't possible. Obviously the stigma for women is worse than for men, but I sympathize with the loss of that particular…

The preciso is a very good grinder - baratza makes good grinders - but the baratza vario is what you really want for a versatile grinder that handles espresso very well (sub $500).

I live near a major city in the North East, so that's not the issue. I'll just say that your experience is not true for me, although I've never had 30 friends of any gender, much less attractive ones. I suspect that working at a bar and restaurant has something to do with your results. Anyway, too late for that mess…

Being "nice" is, indeed, what we should expect from the people in our lives. But it isn't what we necessarily typically see, especially when younger. A lot of "nice guys" are confused by the fact that they are what they consider to be nice, but a lot of guys who are not nice are getting dates. Not everyone can be…

I wish this were true. I have never had a female friend set me up with another female friend. Usually, the women who want to be friends have lots of male friends and few single friends - at least, that they'll admit to.

I don't think there's a rule that a guy has to take on the responsibility of a new friendship every time he gets turned down by a woman.

There is such a thing as a playful no. Others have commented about non-consent play, which really needs to have explicit parameters, but a playful no is something else entirely. It's smiling and giggling while saying "stop that," or "noooo" followed by a moan or some other sign of consent. If I had a son, I'd want to…

I didn't mean that men aren't raped. There are certainly women who take the initiative, sexually. By and large, however, men are the ones who initiate the first kiss, and are often responsible for escalating intimacy. When I was a teenager, many teenage girls (and boys) really wanted to experiment sexually, but they…

You were the one who asked what people could consent to without affirmation that, in the absence of consent, would be considered assault. You, or someone else, has compared attempting sex with hitting another person with a baseball bat. If not for your question, I would never draw the comparison. But when you step…

I notice no one wants to address the substance of your argument: that asking for permission is considered, by most American women, to be unsexy. As though all American women have the particular sexual preferences of the Jezebel audience.

Not everyone has sex the same way, or is turned on in the same way, or is as comfortable voicing consent in the same way. Some people, men and women, are sexually passive - either in general or in a specific circumstance. When I was much younger, I had a young woman offer to perform a sexual act, but I had to tell her…

Sex is sui generis, obviously, but I'll play: when two people step into a boxing ring, they do not say to one another "I agree to hit you and allow you to hit me in return."

express (adj): definitely stated, not merely implied.

"Piracy-proof" doesn't exist.

If he is willing to lose his security deposit, it might not impact his credit. Many independent landlords do not report to any credit agency, as doing so just represents an additional annoyance that doesn't yield any benefit for the landlord. It depends on whether he is renting from a company/property management firm…

You're kidding, right? Many languages (over 1/4 of the world's languages) assign a "gender" to nouns. It is called grammatical gender. If you can't manipulate the gender of a noun, you can't use it.

Attraction and communication are not mutually exclusive. You're just using a variant of the compensating skills fallacy - as though any individual person I (or you) happen to find attractive is less likely to be interesting or communicate well.

I have always wanted a wife and children, but circumstances are such that these are goals I am unlikely to achieve. I don't think there's a general answer to the question, but if one honestly assesses one's temperament and values, one can come to a probable conclusion. Either way one chooses (or yields to necessity),…

Thanks for the response from the hipster contingent.

I thought college would be the best time of my life, but it actually wasn't very enjoyable. I thought maybe it would be better afterward. Worse.