Once I saw that Clinton was involved I knew there was going to be a happy ending.

Oh, one more thing. The best journalism school is the University of Missouri. Same state as the best team in baseball.

I hope this was written on GMO free paper.

Stan.

Were they angels? No, they were not. They were men. Imperfect men. Strong, imperfect men capable of carrying an entire city in desperate need of healing. With one swing of his gargantuan bat, Matthew Adams drove to the heart of St. Louis and unwrecked the mess that the shooting of Michael Brown hath wrought. All…

You don't have to tell LeBron twice: he was already down there during the world cup AND his forehead already has a Brazilian.

Nah, you can have immense respect for the work defense lawyers do and understand why zealous defense is crucial to the functioning of our legal system and still scoff at hack lawyers pushing out slut-shaming press releases for public relations purposes.

Man, I gotta admit, this article really worked for me. Like most niche subjects, I wondered how table tennis would be covered in a way that would be enlightening or entertaining, and by the time I was halfway in, I knew it would be both. Having never really played the game, I can see how it's a lot like any other…

When I tell them I work for a website called Deadspin, they assume that Deadspin is a table tennis publication that they have never heard of.

Why should you have to pay a premium to watch out-of-market NHL games when, according to Greg Howard, they don't get blacked out?

What do you expect? It's a musical.

Heads Up Certified High School Coach: It's like no matter how many times I try and pound it into their puny little skulls, they keep forgetting how to tackle correctly.

Most train accidents are caused by human error, not by automated systems error. Autonomous trains, like autonomous cars, are safer than human-piloted ones.

"Both of the attackers, who are brothers".

You can tell this guy went to Michigan, because he's making the M with his legs, and there's a self-righteous dick right in the middle of everything.

It is also more satisfying when you pretend that Brett Favre is dead.

Note: this joke is funnier if you pretend Brett Favre is from Austin. So do that.

To be fair, the @Deadspin account has been known to do the same thing on occasion.

"We are investigating what happened".