This is certainly better than the slow clap Ronaldo has got a few times- I think you need IV antibiotics for it.

I imagine if Manziel’s next hearing lasts for too long, his legal team won’t be the only ones experiencing withdrawal.

I like the addition of Draymond - it will answer some big questions, like ‘How much padding does a foreskin actually provide?’

As a compromise, Mark Davis has proposed a cost cutting measure for the new stadium in the form of a cheaper dome.

This would be a bigger deal if Horwitz actually possessed feelings that could be hurt.

Can Ronaldo dunk (microphones into a lake)?

I think every article in The Players’ Tribune should be run through Google Translate.

That’s my favorite Dylan Thomas poem too.

This is lazy journalism. I mean, no quote from Pete Carroll?

So dumb.

A thousand knowing grins just spread across the land.

How disappointing - I was sure the dude was going to sound like Foghorn Leghorn when he spoke.

“The NCAA is so mad at Kentucky theyre going to give Cleveland State another year of probation.”

As a result of this, San Diego State will lose 12 scholarships and be put on probation for five years.

Did somebody shave the Swope Park Rangers mascot?

Since you mentioned Canada, you were required by Canadian law to mention Tim Horton’s. Well done!

Nightmare Ant thinks that mascot is fucking terrifying.

Kind of a coincidence, but Jostens messed up Lawrence Phillips’ 1994 Nebraska National Championship ring too. Of course, they didn’t fix it for him, and just left him hanging.

I have a nail gun, will that help?

I do NOT remember that guy.