I have also used (in response to “What happened to your face?”) “What happened to your manners?”

No, seriously, just don’t ask.

As the owner of a disfiguring facial scar acquired just before puberty, I seriously do not have enough swears for people who ask about scars.

Gun safety education isn’t enough.

I was served that once, and Googled the recipe after tasting it to see what in the unholy fuck had happened to my mouth.

You know, the thing about arbitrary deadlines (30) is that they’re...arbitrary.

But how do you personally identify somebody with "severe health dangers"?

So, with the disclaimer that the fad diet people can eat a bag of dicks (gluten free, organic free range dicks, if it makes them happier), this is a hot load of bullshit:

The worst part is that if you pause and listen to the lyrics (an act you will regret in advance), you'll notice that the refrain reassures curvy girls that they're super hot because Dudes.

I know you're joking, but the headline is in poor taste.

"What is impressive is that retail workers work for 12 hours (or longer) and are as "pleasant" as you claim they are (which, seriously? it's because if they're not like that, they'll get fired)."

Because you were there, getting counted by Walmart's crowd control people as a warm body in the store.

Thank you.

Have you seen the DVD cover of Winter Soldier? That between the tilt of the head and the way his hips are cocked, that walk doesn't say "I'm Captain America and I'm here to save the world," it says "I'm Steve Rogers and I'm here to serve my country...one woman at a time. Please form an orderly line to the left,…

You know, I actually really dislike Lenore Skenazy. I stopped reading her blog a couple of years ago because it was an orgy of Mommywars and judgmental a-holes and unacknowledged privilege.

Penn State?

Really? I would think that colleges would be fighting over him now. He's already shown that he can sexually assault somebody on camera, get convicted and then get right back in the game. Isn't that a crucial skill set for today's college athlete?

We got Sex Ed in seventh and ninth grade. Why yes, I did grow up in one of the leading teen pregnancy states. They were no longer messing around that that point.

When I was five, my family temporarily relocated to a foreign country. Every day, I walked a half a mile to a tiny market so that I could buy a peach and candy cigarettes. This was after walking to and from school by myself, of course.

Latchkey kids, represent!