Do you hear the people munch?
Munching candy over lunch?
It is the candy of a people
That are not a healthy bunch!
When the the beating of your teeth
Is muffled by tons of macarons
There is a face you have to stuff
With all bon bons!

As a member of the French aristocracy, I can assure you that we have been living in fear of this voleuse des bon bons for weeks. To know her reign of terror is at an end—that our precious sweets are once again safe from the rabble—is a relief beyond measure.

Good example you're setting for your kid there, lady—when you don't get what you want, scream at someone who has no power to make things better for you until you get your way.

I would pay 99 cents to download the club remix of "Check Out This Thing On My Dog (Is It a Tick or a Mole?)"

Kanye is going to sue you so hard.

Ugh. My dogs hate when Laura Beck posts Puppy Squees. I always end up waking them up and demanding "BE ADORABLE FOR ME!" ... so many dirty looks.

[Story about my own hair.]

Read better.

LIES! YOU HAVE SEEEEEEEEEN MY BABY! HE IS AMAZING.

Once again: Jim Cooke, so fantastic.

That is Daniel Desario, aka James Franco's character from Freaks & Geeks.

The Aristocrats!....wait wrong joke.

"...so I said to myself 'YOLO!', then I ate the whole thing, tiny bones and all.