Shit. I hope she slips cyanide in sandwich 300 then watches him foam to death as she laughs and yells "MADE YOU A SANDWICH, YOU FUCK! HAHAHAHAHA!"

...or maybe I'm just cranky since I didn't sleep enough.

Never!

If that makes you comfortable, I'm Brazilian, and I also don't get it.

Oh, you did what would be most politically correct, which is great. I'm just pointing out that any person denominated Brazilian effectively speaks Portuguese. The whole thing that happens in the US, where immigrants (say, hispanic Americans) don't speak English is bizarre from Brazil's standpoint.

You are most…

The first language for Brazilians is Portuguese.

I knew this would stir feelings around here. Excellent.

I'm sick, can I get an extension?

My mom made sure to be financially independent at all moments. I dare to say that part of the reason for the high divorce number is that husbands would find her independence emasculating.

My dad swears that is not the case. I miiiight believe him.

Parents are those who raise you. Period. The whole "you look like your [insert blood relative]" thing is irrelevant to raising things.

So it doesn't matter who the father is. People just like to be possessive.

I grew up to see divorce as a beautiful thing; provided you can handle it.

Think about it:

Hehehe, my mom never remarried the same guy. I wonder what her policy on that is.

Look, with all honesty, my mom didn't plan the second pregnancy, and the third one (me!) she was 100% sure NOT to get pregnant. Long story, my brother had a genetical condition and almost didn't make it, so she was scared.

These things happen. And with real people. I didn't meet one of the biological dads, who passed…

My mom has three kids, with three different fathers. And she is f*cking fine with that.

Whenever someone asks her whether she married three times, she quickly answers "Actually, four. The last marriage didn't last enough for that."

You're welcome! I got to be Bruce Campbell, so I guess it is a win-win.

I makes me happy to know that people like you are so eloquently exposing their ideas.
As a foreign, non jewish, non muslim man, I'm part of the not circumcised majority. And it never bothered me. Neither did the circumcised folks. I mean, it is literally to each its own.

...until I moved to America and saw myself…

No flaming!

Ahem. Uncircumcised person here.

It takes everyone a moment, which is why it is utterly brilliant.

Fernanda is very common name back home. I do know, however, of a mom with snarky intentions similar to yours, who was coerced by the husband's religious family into choosing that name for her daughter.

She went compound and named her Luci Fernanda. True story.