I'm a Miranda. I use a banana to dam up my beaver.

I'm a Charlotte. I don't even get a period. I'm just going to have a lot of babies and die. Terrific.

I'm a Samantha...I change out a tampon with a wiggle of the nose!

Are you a Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte or a Miranda? I'm a real Feminist, so I'm a Carrie in that I wear head to toe blood when I interact with my womyn time.

"This is my government, ma'am; I will judge you."

Not every woman who knows how to apply makeup is a totem for some guy's unresolved high school anxiety.

Penabler, is this ranch in your pants?

I have a ranch where I breed pubic lice so they don't completely go extinct. I don't want a child to ask me, "why are there no crabs?" and I would have to say "they don't exist anymore, because no one would stand up to protect them."

Source: http://xkcd.com/385/

I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING SHUT UP.

I don't have time today, but she also needs your stories. She needs to stay on-topic, otherwise they'll end her filibuster, so if you can share your 500-word story, it'll help keep her going.

I appreciate your political support.

Taking cues for my sexual script from lady spiders from now on...

As someone called Pedro, I find it hard to run for things.