Hahaha. I think I had more fun than I should reading this. And shit, I'm sober.

Also: shit, I love their accents.

I made it.

Her voice doesn't match the strong beat. The topic/lyrics are pointless beyond imagination. She is NOT in high school (creep).

Also, music industry: it is true that you can use autotune in exaggerated ways to create an electronic-y effect, almost as if auto tuned voice is an extra instrument. That is actually…

This should be linked to the "your baby is ugly article".

Well, story has it that my dad said I looked like a rat. My mom promptly denied, saying I looked more like a knee.

They were happy for having a healthy kid, since that had been a problem with my brother's birth. So there you go. I should point out they were kind enough to wait for me to grow up before they told me of…

I'm not saying that all of these comics are hacks by virtue of their success, or that they don't work hard; just that concluding, based on a list of top earners, that men are funnier than women is like concluding, based on food consumption, that marshmallow fluff is a better dessert than creme brûlée, or that bologna…

Hey, you are a physicist! I'm a physicist!

[secret handshake]

High five!

Ok, I thought, at first, that the picture had cigars.

I don't condone tobacco, but that would be cool.

Truth is, the USSR kicked America's butt in the Space Race. The very only thing America did first was to land on the Moon. The publicity around it gave us the wrong impression that it was a victory.

They not only had more people on space, but they developed more technology for that, and most part of today's knowledge…

I wasn't at first ok with the phrasing, but I guess this is a message for the inner Nice Guy we all have.

This is awesome!

Is it ok that I'm here for the Master Chef references?

Look at the bright side: if I had to name my fans from the top of my head, it would be my mom and my six year old niece that knows I'm a scientist but thinks it makes me some kind of wizard.

In atheist heaven, when God shows up and frowns at all the porn and science, people just say:

I like to think that the most responsible day of my teenagehood was the day after my sister's bachelorette party, in which she spent the day at my mom's apartment spilling her guts. I think she had to guess each gift she got, and had to drink a shot for each mistake.
In addition, my mom had gone under some surgery…

I do all of those at age 24.

Not that I get hangovers. I am a hypersomniac. If I go overboard, I'll sleep 16 hours the next day. Try explaining that to the boss.

So, what they are saying is female passengers get discount tickets?

It makes nothing but sense to me.

To add on the "it's all tax incentive" lore: