That baseball broadcasting master class they brought Hawk Harrelson in for right before the postseason really paid off.

"Mercy."

Unfortunately such a sweet deal comes with a steep price: Ticket Oak gets to ravage your body for one (surprisingly sensuous) night.

Eh, it's only a Cardinals game.

Think of how many violent crimes would be prevented if cops were allowed to profile the driver of this type of vehicle.

Normally I try to be a "rational" Sox fan (I know, oxymoron). But tonight, fuck that. GO SOX. WORLD SERIES BOUND, BABY.

Now there are two 200-Million-Year-Old Rock Formations known as the Rolling Stones.

The marathon picture is also, at that moment, no longer a sports photo.

That'll make those opposing batters think twice before homering into your bleachers.

Each player took two shots and left so they'd get used to exiting after the second round.

It gets better. This is liberty mullet's twitter account: https://twitter.com/birdsonbats06. I saw a link to it a couple of years ago and found it absolutely mesmerizing.

Welcome to the continuing sissification of football. Since the beginning of time (at least all time that matters, since football was invented) offensive linemen have been taught to pick up the blitz.

you take that back to whore island where you came from!

Chris Brown has a singular talent for making it impossible to sympathize with him even if he’s recounting a vaguely traumatic incident from his childhood. You know, like that time he lost his virginity to teenage girl. When he was eight.

Something tells me you don't 'hate to be the devil's advocate here.'

RIGHT?!?!?! I swear, if I ate a cheeseburger every time some random person ordered me to, I would've died of a heart attack 6 years ago. People just come up to me to let me know I'm "too thin." Or a friend's family members refer to me as "the girl with the problem" after meeting me at a funeral. Literally, her cousin…

I get that way when I'm really depressed. I look like shit, and on the rare occasion I'm not down, which makes me sleepy all the time, I'm up.

I know. I am 38, and guess what? 20 years ago I was beautiful too.

So Will, how big is Sarah Silverman's cock?

everything is going wrong. And there he is, sitting back down in his seat