One of them's Steve Elkington, but I've never seen the other two.

Player Aaaaaaaaaay

You can always tell by the comments who has read the report and who has not. You have not. Stop commenting until you do lest all the snow shovels in the northeast won't be enough to get you out from under your own bullshit.

1. Your attitude is one of the worst things about football- you're basically one step removed from the ex-shitty-HS player coaching his son's Pop Warner team to headhunt. I believe you were in a college locker room (so was I), but please don't assume that makes you qualified to speak about more than your own…

The thrust of this piece seemed to be bullying and how we all jockey for position on the social ladder (sometimes in unseemly ways), but hey, what do I know being able to read English and whatnot?

Sirrah, please do not compare a garment factory to your pamphleteering.

Please oh please don't compare an NFL locker room to your zero experience in an NFL locker room.

Oh hey, Richie Incognito! How's it going, ya big asshole?

Do you really think a court would make the same arbitrary distinctions to the law that you do? Really?

"This isn't a desk job. It isn't a cubicle. It's a locker room….your job is not running full speed at someone and driving them to the ground. You cannot compare."

I am dumber for having read this. And that's saying something.

"But when they do get close, i.e. Richard Sherman and Incognito, they are offended and blown away by this culture."

lol @ comparing Sherman and Incognito.

Putting Richard Sherman and Richie Incognito in the same group is pretty whack.

This is not just an NFL locker room. It is also a workplace, and everyone deserves not to be harassed in their workplace. In any other job, Incognito would have been fired for 1/100th of the things he's done here, and Martin could sue the shit out of the organization (which he should do in this case, as well).

I'm really looking forward to this new Kinja experience.

Terrible, terrible new look. Probably going to break down by mid may before spending all year trying to go back to original form. You're making a mistake, kinja.

I love it when I'm at a sporting event and the cheerleaders bring out the Story Canon. One time I got Poe's The Cask of Amontillado.

BREAKING: Pearl clutching at dangerously high levels in Lubbock tonight, citizen reactions at 11.