Well, this guy isn't your son, because he did have feces-covered fingers and he's great at washing his hands but he needs supervision. He's wonderful and I love him, which is why I've been wiping his ass on and off for the past 5 years. Sometimes I tell funny stories about things that happen at work to blow off steam;…

"It says:

I don't think you actually understand what body-shaming means.

Dude. We get it. You have access to his penis.

He is so smarmy that I can't even find him handsome. I don't tend to care about celebrity scandals, but I'm going to be all over it when she finds out that he's cheating on her.

I know a "Sir President..."

Thank you for your tireless dedication to journalism, sir.

How does one get a cat's age certified? I'm certain that I've met older cats and even had a cat at one point (RIP, you crazy bitch) that could give Poppy's title a challenge.

1979's "Video Killed the Radio Star" by The Buggles, notable as the first video shown on MTV (insert gratuitous "they played videos?" joke here), is a pseudo-cover; Geoff Downes and Trevor Horn co-wrote and performed the song with Camera Club in 1978, then after that group's demise, Downes and Horn created The Buggles…

He does not appear to be wearing a wedding ring. Shouldn't he be setting a good example of traditional marriage?

"I'm always for taking a step back."

Sometimes a microphone is actually a penis.

She even brings the baby to work when she has to! I am sure all the women who are factory workers or housekeepers would love to have that choice...

Its not enough that rich people have money, luxury, and options. They want us to fucking cheer-lead for them too. YOU GO, HILARIA! YOU TELL THOSE POOR MOMS WHO DO ALL THE SAME SHIT YOU DO!

I could do Olympic weight lifting until I was blue in the face and I will NEVER be a size 0, or have small boobs, or a small ass. I am 5'7" with an hourglass shape. I work out 6 days a week doing advanced yoga/running/HIIT training, eat no sugar, and I am a size 6/8 and about as in shape a person as you can get. I'd…

OK, I did not know that "Olympic anything" does not necessarily refer to a sport at the Olympics. Nevertheless, I stand by my statement that being a size 0 IS unobtainable for most women. That absolutely does have to do with genetics, since there are plenty of women (like me) whose bones are larger than a 0. And…

Because even the most intensive 'fitness' regimen will not produce a body like hers (or yours) for the vast majority of women. I'm an active ,low-carb vegan, wear a size 24/26, and am very committed to fitness — but, as for most of the women I know who follow similar lifestyles, this woman's sort of body is…

I woke up one morning and decided I wanted to get a Ph.D. in math. Why doesn't everyone?