Jesus H. Chris, pluquaa. I'm just trying to decide if you were drunk when you left this comment or not drunk enough.

Well, little girl or freshman at Arizona State.

"When he realized what was happening, he tried to pop a heart pill and carry on with the festivities. . . ."

Seriously. Why isn't there a vaccine that combats her continued popularity?

I tell everyone that my favorite Harry Potter book is "The Half-Blood Prince," but it's actually "The Chamber of Secrets." I just want people to think I'm cool and intellectual!

So this is just a list of books that people tell other people are their favorites?

The last time I flew internationally, I ponied up extra cash to sit in Economy Plus or whatever the hell it's called on British Airways, and this was A BIG DEAL for me, financially. Like, it's just an extra six inches of space, and upgraded travel bag, and upgraded food service, and I spent precious bucks on it. And I…

If there's anything better than the fact that it says "Turkey Cheddar Sub" over Dean whatsisname's shoulder, I don't know what it is, and I don't much care.

"I feel like we should get a trophy for that"

Chrissy & John are pure class. FFS, if you're going to have public sex, at least do it in a secluded spot, like under the bleachers or something.

OK. But there *are* specific ways to diagnose endo. It's not a "nothing else fits, so let's call it endo" situation.

Person with endometriosis here. You don't get that diagnosis because "nothing else" fits. It's a real disorder. They looked inside me 8 ways from Sunday to make sure.

The only truly awful thing about this is her eyebrow-shaping.

At my cousin's wedding she went around reminding all of us to help her get her money's worth. LOL

I can't imagine voluntarily going to a wedding.

I think you're onto something here. Seriously. Plus, the supposed quivering eyebrow "giveaway" — which had never happened before, ever, in their entire relationship — seems like nothing more than a ruse since there wouldn't have been much high drama if Tori had said: I knew he was lying because his eyes were more…

I was informed by my oldest that once you get to kindergarten, it is called "sitting school-style. Criss cross applesauce is for preschoolers."

I couldn't help but laugh at the last line, "I've never seen your eyebrow shake before. Ever. In our whole relationship." This is not a thing.

Yo, Mary Jo Eustace: still dodging that bullet, gurl!