The only truly awful thing about this is her eyebrow-shaping.

At my cousin's wedding she went around reminding all of us to help her get her money's worth. LOL

I can't imagine voluntarily going to a wedding.

I think you're onto something here. Seriously. Plus, the supposed quivering eyebrow "giveaway" — which had never happened before, ever, in their entire relationship — seems like nothing more than a ruse since there wouldn't have been much high drama if Tori had said: I knew he was lying because his eyes were more…

I was informed by my oldest that once you get to kindergarten, it is called "sitting school-style. Criss cross applesauce is for preschoolers."

I couldn't help but laugh at the last line, "I've never seen your eyebrow shake before. Ever. In our whole relationship." This is not a thing.

Yo, Mary Jo Eustace: still dodging that bullet, gurl!

"big name" worn panties implies that there's a sustainable, locally sourced used pantie supplier that would be more ethical to buy from.

But others, how can I put it... some people you can't take the ghetto out of'

When I go and visit Oprah she can get on the intercom and say, "Negroes in the house," all she wants to. Barbara lost a major opportunity playing disgruntled step-mother-in-law.

Barbara and Vernon were often put up in hotels when they went to visit Oprah

This title should say "Idris Elba and His Girlfriend Had the Cutest Baby in History." We can say this with 100% confidence without having seen any pictures. Their baby probably makes every other baby look like a tiny pile of garbage.

Sure they may be talented, but it's subjecting a captive audience to something they may not have a taste for. What if it was opera? The Blue Man Group? Stomp? Circus performers? Magicians? The USC marching band? Metallica?

My childhood was not great at times, and I realize a stop in the ER is an extra step to the story, but there were several occasions that I can think of where a teacher or a vice-principal at my school broke the liability rules by taking me off campus in their car, so as to take me home, because it was well after…

This is supposed to be cute, but in fact it's my worst nightmare, because there's nothing worse than being trapped in an enclosed space and subjected to talent.

I bet you think you are allergic to Gluten, too.

I'm really not. I'm enjoying you having to justify being such a terrible person.

If you really think so little of servers, do us all a favor and stop going out to eat.