Congratulations! None of what you've said is true or accurate. I compliment you on an across-the-board wash, including even failing again to understand that the cash withdrawal limit we're discussing is $100, not $300.

It's a good point, and I thought about that—they don't all have the same childhood bedroom, that's probably not actually Cecily Strong's parents' cat, etc.—but at the same time, why couldn't she have just said "my woman" instead of "my man"?

True, but if we're talking about Chase's cards, it shouldn't be the case that Chase is powerless to use their own internal security measures and emergency procedures to protect their own customers in response. Card theft happens all the time on a smaller scale; often it's the responsibility of the merchant and not the…

I can infer that because that's literally what is said. These specific new limits are being imposed, across, the board, only on those customers who used their cards at Target during the period of the Target security breach. Probably in order to limit the amount for which Chase will be held liable if those cards are…

"At least 2 million shoppers who used bank debit cards at Target Corp stores during its recent data breach are facing lower limits on how much cash they can take out of teller machines and spend at stores....JPMorgan Chase & Co said on Saturday it is notifying customers who used Chase brand debit cards at Target from…

Ha!! This is probably the correct answer.

But according to the CBS article, this decision is not being applied to Chase customers based on their HHI.

I don't believe you asked how much I make until now, but since you just did, I will tell you: it's absolutely none of your business, and in no way is it relevant to this conversation. So I will very gladly dodge that impertinent question, except to say: I make enough to occasionally spend more than $300 in a day and…

YAY FOR THE KITCHENAID! I don't even know your wife, but I'm so excited thinking of her opening that on (just assuming) Christmas morning. I LOVE mine. What color are you getting?

The linked article says nothing about these limits applying only to customers whose annual income is $50K or under—so sure, feel free to use math, but you might want to stay away from math that you just made up in your own head.

I don't know if I would have noticed, except they used their own names and their own (hilarious) middle school photos. I mean, surely having sex in your childhood bed with a lady is just as awkward as with a dude?

Neither is great, but there needs to be some kind of balance here, and I think these limits don't represent a reasonable balance. Basically what they're saying is "we can't be trusted to keep your money safe, so we're going to pass our irresponsibility on to you, in the form of inconvenience!" We've already been…

Hm, nah, still going to go with punitive, though you're proving yourself an excellent shill for Chase. It's certainly punitive if, for example, I want to be generous at the holidays and take my co-workers out for drinks at the bar we like best nearest our office, which happens to be cash-only. There are 7 of us, and…

This was hilarious, but didn't it seem kind of weird, since the cast members were doing the sketch under their own names, that Kate McKinnon apparently needed to pretend to be straight for the sketch?

Actually, what you could probably do is simply go to the teller to make a larger withdrawal during bank hours, which is what everyone used to do before ATMs, but that's not really the point. Nor is using a credit card "like a normal person," which is an entirely different troublesome argument. You shouldn't HAVE to…

WOW. I would say that so strictly limiting customers' access to THEIR OWN MONEY is not a great way to hang on to customers, but they probably know from experience that it won't make that much difference, since switching banks is a pain. This is one reason it's a good idea to keep a decent chunk of "emergency" cash in…

The flask part makes it amazing, though.

Owiee! Yeah, whisker burn is not fun (on one's face or...otherwise). I can see why you made that leap.

My husband has excellent soft lips, but I will admit that they've never once tasted like Lipsmackers. I should start pushing that agenda.

For some reason, any time a heterosexual woman kisses another heterosexual woman in this context, they seem obliged to refer to the other as having "soft lips." I always wondered about the lips of the men that these poor women were ordinarily kissing, and then finally deduced that this means "her mouth was not…