Man, seriously, how many times have I said to myself that this city would be a much better place if only it were a little more hospitable to rats?

REHAB HER IMAGE. Excellent. This wouldn't be the circus it is if she hadn't been publicly choked by her husband, and yet she admits to using cocaine a handful of times in her life and now SHE's the one in need of an image rehab.

Is that a slur that people actually even use? I grew up in a Mizzou family, and I can't remember actually being around someone who referred to KU as the "Gayhawks." Though I heard plenty of other shit being talked about KU. (On the other hand, it's not like it takes a particularly clever jerk to come up with that, so…

Ai ai ai. Funny and somehow also tragic.

She "went ahead and had one"...for herself?

Ha—aren't you ever tempted to just say, "oh wait, HOLD UP, GIRL." I didn't know you were waiting for an occasion to dance! That reframes things for me. Let me give this another think."?

Yes...I think the other thing that happens is that Thanksgiving is a time when you might take your boyfriend home to be with your family, and he takes the occasion to ask your dad "for your hand", and that then lines up with the whole present-buying/holiday-surprise business of the following weeks.

Fair enough. But certainly both are better than DRY burgers?

hamburgers.

So this guy has three kids under 5 and is prioritizing his fantasy draft above amassing enough cash (or credit!) to handle a $6000 emergency, and his WIFE is the irresponsible one in the family???

So talented and such an absolute pro. An absolute treasure.

Yeah, I understand what you're saying. Although, silver lining: six hours on a bus with strangers! A real American dream.

This fucking sucks and I would have been as furious as you were, but just in this case it might've also related to personnel/work hours issues. As in, there was no longer enough time to fly to Providence AND Detroit as originally scheduled before the crew was legally required to go off the clock, and there weren't the…

She's onstage in New York pretty regularly (most recently I think in the revival of "The Best Man" in 2012) so if a hop over to London is too spendy, I implore anyone in or near NYC to see her the next time she shows up here. Absolutely worth the (usually exorbitant) price of the ticket.

YES! She was so great. And not "give her 20 points for advanced age" great, but flat-fantastic.

She can judge whether or not she ever wants to be involved in a potluck with this person again.

I fear the answer is "from a can." While all the wonderful turkey drippings go to waste...

This kind of thing has become so uncomfortable, because I feel this unquestioning validation and total groupthink-positivity is getting a little patronizing. I look at that photo on the right, and I don't think it's at all "gorgeous"—the lighting is bad, the pose is awkward, and like many selfies, it has that weird…

The megaplex in my hometown had installed turnstiles the last time I was there—maybe this is becoming a common thing?

Ohh, sorry, OK. Ech, I'm so sorry to hear that she made such a rough experience more difficult.