No apologies, if my daughter's step dad ever did this to her I'm murdering him. I would surrender to the police immediately afterwards and rightfully be prosecuted because society is supposed to be better than the individual but I would not have regrets.

The A's should have been in San Jose yesterday. But this too is a dick move. Love for Oakland and fond memories of a non-shit encrusted Coliseum is not mutually exclusive to a desire to see the team do well in a viable market—a viable market that is a 50 fucking minute Caltrain ride from Pac Bell Whatever the Fuck It…

It's pretty clear to me that Ditka vastly overestimated his chances in that election. I mean, for "Senator Ditka" to even be a possibility, Illinois state politics would have to be such a corrupt, inefficient mess, it'd be laughingstock of the entire country.

Please, don't leave this smoking tire fire of a franchise, Josh. I need more giggles in my day to day existence.

Wow, I really didn't foresee this when they created the new 2013 rule allowing players to switch teams. This sort of thing never happened before.

Mitch Hedberg.

But not sorry enough to send the Jags over for the next 4 years

We're sorry, London. We're so so sorry.

This seems fitting. There are, like, a fuck ton of Cassels in England and no one can remember when they were good at their job either.

Part of it is in the presentation. Because it's on the NFL Network, it doesn't FEEL like you're watching an important game. It feels like you're watching a second tier ACC game.

So the rally was called off before the Grand Wizard arrived?

Look, if you've ever been under the tyrannical reign of a high school marching band director who is just really fed up with your shit, you stupid idiots, and who got into this because he genuinely loved music in college and thought he could pass that joy on but now all you scum-sucking assholes can't even nail your…

Chris Johnson eagerly travelled to Orlando the next day, hoping that lightning would strike twice.

He also thought people were following him around with microwave devices to send vibrations into his body.

People like Pelini are fundamentally bullies. They are used to having total control over everything around them, and everyone around them being in a position of having to kiss their ass. When people like Pelini receive something other than that, they react predictably.

Thinks he can say "Fuck you, fans" and still have a successful football team? Strikes me as a little quixotic.

It only figures that, in Nebraska, Lil' Bo P ends up fucking the sheep.

In his defense, I've been to Nebraska and I felt everyone there could use a good fucking.

This is shocking. Just looking at his photo up there you would not predict that he is a total asshole.