I feel like not that long ago all those sites would’ve just laughed at Michelle and left the picture up. It's nice that they're learning to respect children, but it'd be better if no one had ever taken those photos at all. Children should not be stalked by creepy-ass dudes with cameras just because their parents are…

I promise that, if I am ever elected to office, I will release all my sex tapes preemptively, so that they are not a scandal if they become released accidentally.

Freaky Canadians, dancing in their underwear while celebrating drug deals.

I googled this just to see if it was real because I’m v gullible and kind of dumb.

He’s already contracted emphysema from our poor air quality I’m sorry it’s too late.

And you know that Canadians are free-kay.

Just so you know, I sat here for a pretty good amount time trying to figure out where the short ends and long ends of my fingers were.

Yeah, but it doesn’t take too long to regain sensation if you just go cold turkey off the vibes and stick with fingers...a few days on the short end and a few weeks on the long end.

blue-beaning

I’ve been regaining an appreciation for dryhumping lately because my girlfriend has a toddler and it’s difficult to get alone time.

Dick burns on your rug?

One of the great things about Vanessa’s columns is she guides us towards expanding our ideas of what sex can be. We can involve different body parts, in different ways, and explore what we and our partners enjoy.

Nah, the worst is having a partner who is so insecure that they feel the need to critique whether or not the fantasy in question is edgy and hip enough.

You hand them a John Philip Sousa score and a tetanus booster.

I finally have an excuse to post this:

I don’t think it’s a curse at all; I’d take more nerve endings any day! Infections aren’t incredibly common, but keeping your genitals healthy is something all of us need to be thoughtful about.

When I was born, my dad wanted me circumcised and named [A] [B]. My mother wanted me to remain fully intact, and named [B] [A]. In the end they compromised: my dad got to name me and my mom got to decide how my royal staff was ornamented. Some of this I knew, but some I didn’t. Thanks for the info!

Watchmen fans are glad this was just the first pass at Rorschach.