OMG, spot-on on the “Mary Sue” observation. His writing sounds straight out of Fifty Shades of Grey.

omg i’m here from the link in jia’s farewell post (</3), stoned and howling laughing @/starring two-month-old comment like a weirdo

I haven’t sustained an injury during sex, but I did get hurt while masturbating once in the shower.

All the stars. Ugh. :(

It took me sooo long to figure out what you meant, lol.

Exactly what I came here to post.

The crossword answers are KILLIN’ it!

I mean, to be fair, it could be something that people with autism experience. Not that I’m an expert on autism or anything, but if the textures of certain kinds of clothing are unbearable, I could see grill marks on food possibly being similarly intolerable.

The old monk in my Catholic high school who taught Morality (which we all called Abortion 101 because that’s pretty much all he talked about) told us that there was no need for Plan B or other emergency contraception after being raped, because as part of a rape kit, they would “scrape you out” so you wouldn’t get…

Yes, but how do you and your sister's friend hack your minds to save that money??????

Dear PETA,

The latter, haha.

Sick of nail-biting? Just have TMJ and get yourself an NTI from the dentist. Soon enough, if you clench your teeth all night long as hard as I do, you'll develop an open bite. You won't bite your nails anymore, as your front teeth (and some of your molars) will have a 3-5 mm gap when your jaw is all the way closed…

Also the whole "buying things manufactured in China, where women can be forced to have abortions" thing.

I don't have cable now, it's probably been over 10 years. However, I have access to Amazon Prime, so watching stuff like Hoarders certainly doesn't help (because I live with my parents for a while still and they're definitely on their way to full hoarder-dom - I predict mummified cockroach carcasses and bottles of pee…

OMG Rescue 911, yes that started me out too! I remember watching it when I was, like, 3 or 4. Bad move, parents. Baaaad move. ETA: I also watched a lot of Ripley's Believe it or Not!, Unsolved Mysteries, and once I happened to see the episode of Star Trek: TNG (?) where some alien took over someone's body (?) and…

That's my rationale for not wanting a back patio, windows on the ground floor, glass doors/doorwalls, fire escapes, large basement windows, tall shrubbery, basically anything that makes it easy to break in. I have watched waaaaaaaay too many CSI-type shows in my life and am absolutely paranoid that someone is going to…

Oooh, getting some good exfoliation in there too!

ZQ, what is this thing. You look like you're wearing a bib over some nipple-high old man pants.