No worries. You can put ketchup on your shirt — but not on a hot dog.

The bright yellow uniform shirt with the Chicago-style dog really makes it.

This is not the story involving a Sanchez and a finger that I was hoping for. 

That’s nothing. One time, after a night of particularly heavy drinking, I managed to vomit everywhere in my bathroom without so much as a drop making it into the toilet.

Makes you wonder what he could have possibly done to make a funeral home employee feel “incredibly uncomfortable”

Moss and Romo in the box. That’s it. Just let these two gab at each other and it will be far better than anything Phil Simms or Joe Buck can do. Yea, I know Buck doesn’t really do football, but fuck him and his hair plugs anyways.

This week last year, eight of ESPN’s top 20 shows were little league games.

We could change Olympic track sports to people who’ve never run before too. That'd be fun. 

Extremely disappointed that I have not seen the headline “Cubs’ Bote Call is answered.”

Buttrumble

Rest in spaghetti. Never forghetti

The impound fee does sound dubaious...

He wasn’t necessarily boycotting the Hall of Fame persay.  He was boycotting the hypocrisy of the holier-than-thou sportswriters who have way too much power in deciding these matters.  It’s suppose to be objective not subjective. Anyone with half a brain knows T.O. is a hall-of-famer, but this nonsense of waiting his…

Jerry Rice would like a word. 

Yep, I get the whole punching up, punching down thing, but, and there always is one isn’t there, a line does have to be drawn. I mean, heck, white people are soon going to be a minority in the US anyway so how about we stamp down on racism now instead of waiting a couple of years.
Let’s be fair here, you can call it…

Oh, he’ll be provided with a new family in Arizona. That’s how these things are done.

So, instead of being lost forever, Helen is really more of a loan shark.

Jesus Christ the world is going to fucking end.  The Hoodie was smiling... and it actually looked like a real honest to goodness smile.  You know the type that normal, non-demons, have when they find something enjoyable or funny.  Fuck, I’m not ready for this.

Both of these are great ideas, but I’m really partial to any solution that involves weaponized shellfish.