PLEASE TV Execs! I NEED “Marshawn and Gronk Do Things!” I’ll pay whatever you want!!!

Don’t worry, the Jets will do that for you.

Somebody was listening to Chris Carter.

“I went back to my seat, I ordered a beer—a Heineken beer—and then, little by little, I swallowed that first page of the passport,” Abreu said.

This is all sorts of wrong. Heineken sucks.

The price of admission is 100 percent to the GM, 100 percocet to the owner.

How ‘bout a nize greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?

Lesbian says; “They treated me like shit cause I was gay.” No evidence. No history. No “data”.

Sorry Hannah, this article is shit. Absolute shit. It’s little more than a hatchet job.

That’s a lot of words to say “I’m a dick at work”.

FTFY

Now, tell me again—was it this man with an 8-figure net worth who hit you, or his broke-on-paper friend?

One assumes he pulled a hamstring during the fight.

Yeah, what kind of sports website would cover the most famous player of the most popular sport in North America?

I haven’t seen this big a burn from Atlanta since Sept. 1, 1864.

Don’t forget that Petraeus was actually convicted of doing what Hillary Clinton was merely accused of doing.

So a Seahawk decided to pass at the last minute, huh.

Is this the movie poster for Rocky IV Loko?

First Richard Sherman melts down then Michael Bennett melts down and now this. The Lord giveth and the Lord just keeps on giving. Greatest moment in Super Bowl history is still the slow motion replay of Sherman’s face when they threw that interception at the one. Anything bad that happens to the Seahawks isn’t bad…