if it makes you feel any better, you can always say "I got a book deal, and not one of those gimmicky internet book deals" and people will probably still see it the same way!

Hey now, no place is worse than Florida and I'm going to Stand My Ground on that one.

The Underminer strikes again! He is beneath us, but nothing is beneath him!

Please allow me to do my "new friendship with matching bracelet" dance:

i hate to have to correct you here but it turns out the susan g komen foundation for capitulation to the patriarchy doesn't actually try to cure or even treat breast cancer. they just want you to be aware of it. they're like that guy in the godzilla movies who points at godzilla and screams, 'GODZILLA!' thanks, dude.…

the only thing i can accurately describe as weirdly-specific is a 2-piece silicone mold that makes 2" diameter ice orbs that look like the death star. BUT YOU CAN PRY IT FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS

As with any event where you carry a purse and you go with men, you end up carrying all their crap in your purse.

As the resident Paul Bunyan in many of my relationships, please don't do that. It's pretty condescending and infantilizing. I'm on to people who do it, and it makes me feel manipulated, and honestly, rather angry.

"Take away the "brilliance" bullsh*t defence,"

Oh, honey, you'll bee okay.

Crap. I was hoping there were some kind of binders full of Black Friends.

I really want them to become the Redskin Potatoes so that whenever they lose horribly sportscasters can be like, "Today the Patriots mashed (snicker snicker) the Potatoes today 42-14." This is a thing I want very badly.

And come this November, remember to Say No to the Bro

Me and Charlie McGillicuddy used to pull it down on the Atlantic City pier in ought-seven. Made us enough greenbacks for ten lobster dinners a night and while that might not sound like a lot, let me tell you, those lobsters can eat!

That old chestnut.

Ah the ol' "sperm bank gave me and my lesbian partner the wrong colour baby" grift. The oldest trick in the book.

I guess I didn't get the tone you did, which is why I had no problem with it. And I didn't take the comment super duper personally. Just regular personally. I did say I'm still growing, which is why dismissive tones still annoy the shit out of me, though I don't think I'll ever get over that. It is what it is.

...And? People grow into themselves at different times. There's literally no problem with that.

I'm not sure Jennifer has to worry about being turned on in the way Anne was. I think part of what made Anne a target is how...sincere and earnest she seems. Not that Jennifer is a phoney or something, but I get the impression that she's much more savvy about her image and what she puts out there for the world to see,…

Use google then, I'm sure there's a shit ton of reddit threads on the matter.