I cannot believe I'm commenting on this, but why wasn't Bieber arrested along with his friend? (Please forgive me if the answer's in the article. Yes, I read it.) I think we all know what's going to happen to Bieber- absolutely nothing. He'll probably get a slap on the wrist at most. Oh, our justice system.

The skeezer douchestache isn't helping, either.

I think we all agree that Bieber is a little shit, but this is an absolute travesty of justice. A felony search warrant over some egg-throwing? Drug arrest for his conveniently proximate black friend? Bieber's got money for good lawyers, but most of us don't. Fuck the police.

Unsurprisingly, Sheen's vileness continues unabated.

To be honest. I think it's because to me, Gisele is like the female version of Tom Brady and Tom Brady is the male version of Gisele. So I think to me, it means they are really in love with themselves and I don't really like people who are full of themselves.

Isn't that a universal rule?

I can send photos, videos, AND silly emoticons via text message. WHAT MORE DO THESE KIDS WANT GET OFF MY LAWN WHERE'S MY DRINK

I think they're jumping the gun on this one. Texting is so fast and simple. I tried to use Snapchat and it just seemed like a waste of time. Plus, I can send photos through text, so it only seems useful if I want to send an adorned photo and who's got time for that shit? Oh, yeah, teenagers. Well, they'll grow up, get…

I love that dress waaaaay more than what she wore last night (her dress last night wasn't bad, but it wasn't as great as this). That color is fucking gorgeous.

Everyone BUT Kanye comes off looking like an ass in this one.

Ratzi the Nazi was not hard to top.

WHA!?!?!? This is it's first season. It is ok. I laugh everytime I watch. But beating Parks and Rec? Please.

In other words, is the pope Catholic???

Look, I hate to break this to you, but anyone who really knows anything about the Catholic Church — as opposed to journalists and bloggers who just cover it when it's a good story — always knew that Francis wasn't as liberal as lots of people thought he was.

OMG! Seeing the Liam Neesons valets with Liam Neesons just made my day!

I fucking LOVE Liam Neeson

Thanks for actually mentioning the Branson/Braithwaite potential rape scenario. Anna's rape was more flat-out horrifying, but most of the media outlets have completely ignored passed-out Branson being possibly sexually assaulted by the batshit crazy maid.

Let me guess; Anna gets pregnant and then there's the whole, "Who's the Daddy?" drama?