Do you ever do that thing where someone you know said something kind of bitchy to you, and then you go to lunch and imagine all the other horrible things they might conceivably have said if the conversation had gone on indefinitely, and pretty soon you're super mad at that person even though really they hardly did…

I'm glad you feel that way. I know a lot of white folks who love Native American stuff the same way they love Buddhist stuff. They don't really understand it, but they have a sense that it represents something more peaceful and authentic than themselves and they aspire to that.

She has both an X and a Y chromosome.

Not sure that argument works around these parts.

The man needs to wash his hair.

Come on guys. How loudly do we need to shout about this?

My all time favorite is still Reading Rainbow as sung by The Doors.

I hate Katherine Heigle for the following reasons:

That scene of them greeting the camera at the door is like something out of Dr. Who, introducing that episode's monsters.

The Koog Approves.

You are incorrect about that last part.

He was charged with "criminal trespass, harassment and disorderly conduct" because he's rich and famous. If he were not those things, he would have been charged with "assaulting an officer, resisting arrest"; and he would have left a couple of teeth on the pavement outside the theater.

We had a Diversity Day in my high school, and one of my classmates, without a trace of irony, raised his hand and said out loud "I'm not homophobic, I just hate gay people."

If someone tweeted a rape threat at you, and you forwarded that tweet to the police, does this imply that you could be on the hook for "filing a false police report"?

Ours were a little more expensive than that because the school wouldn't allow us to have it on school property, so we had to rent a basement hotel ballroom in Tribeca.

Tickets to my NYC public school prom, back in 2001, cost something like $60 each, and we all bitched and moaned about how expensive they were. I wore a suit-jacket I'd bought from the thrift store and spent another couple bucks on subway tickets to get there and back again. $80 grand total.

I'm not a lawyer, does FMLA stand for "Fuck my life, amiright?"

I went to a clinic in LA once that had a groupon for a ultra-noninvasive micro-lipo thingy. They said my belly was too big for that, and then they brought in a surgeon to consult about cutting it all off and sewing my abdomen up instead. I almost fainted when she described how they would "reconstitute the bellybutton"…