If I'd know that was all it took, I'd have done it a long time ago.

Coffee Mate is liquid diabetes corn syrup jizz. PASS.

Time is a flat circle!

THE IDRIS ELBA LINK IS NOT WORKING!! HELP!!1!

TMZ reports the divorce is "harmonious," unlike Thicke's music

Next time he wants to offer unsolicited advice, he should include a photo, resume, and home address let us be the judge of his height, fitness level, hair amount, skin and eye color, education level, fashion sense, and neighborhood.

Now I understand why Dennis and Sweet Dee turned out the way they did.

This is by far my favorite ghost footage. At first you're creeped out and then you feel bad for the ghost. Emotional and spiritual roller coaster

I'm genuinely asking: are we talking about this guy?

It's even funnier that (as Jon Stewart pointed out on TDS) in the same damn show, he got all faux outraged at OBUMMER for the latte salute because it was 'disrespectful' to our men and women in uniform.

"Vaginal Wince" = good band name

Paris Hilton's bar tab tip is more than what I earn in a year. :-/

There's a special place in hell for bad tippers.

You gotta see the baby!

As much as I like Miles Teller in his Divergent role, I hope he gets fired for mouthing off. Serious turd move, kid.

This is beautiful. A few more heartwarming stories on kitchenette, Pinkham and I'm submitting you to UpWorthy.

Peterson will most certainly not be cut in the offseason. He's the best running back in the league and will likely get probation on his charges. He'll be sold as a redemption story.

You're friends with Jim Irsay?!?!