Obviously I have the numbers that maybe dictate that, but obviously something happened

Well that makes two victories for stupid people everywhere, now doesn't it?

After latest incident, Jeff Buckley's manager might become a professional fisherman

As the night progressed I kind of got more and more and more excited, [thinking], 'Maybe my story is true.'

something that rhymes with herpes

"This tranny experiment is gonna go so, so well"

Consider me consoled.

"A DINGO ATE MY PUSSY" is one of the most hilarious things I've ever read that I can't imagine even beginning to explain to people like in-laws and bosses.

Shit. I'm an idiot. That's what I get for trying to post quickly so I can get back to work. I need to straighten my priorities - double-check and research Deadspin posts first, work second.

Meh, I found the same thing at Kentucky from Derrick Rose once but it turned out someone else had written it.

"the play called for David Souter to go right. He went left instead"

Maybe it's just me, but I still think he flopped.

Correction:Delete "Chris"; Insert "Charlie"; All occurrences

That makes sense too. I really have no idea - just had a vague memory and was wondering if anyone would confirm it.

You: Young, hairy, cheap, new to the scene

Correct me if I'm wrong people older than me, but isn't the cotton ball in medicine bottles related to the aspirin/cyanide issue from the 80's? Somehow that's supposed to stop it? I'm 27 so I only know of this through wikipedia, but that's how I remember learning that story.

Weird - I thought this was the Greg Oden joke: "Jesus, look at that. It has a HANDLE. It's like a paint bucket."

Where is the Black, Jeremy?

"He said he has used the phrase 'at least 100 times' in headlines over the years"

I don't know Chad, your girl got penetrated by a Bi? Sounds like the start of a devil's threesome to me.