1. Pure meta hillbilly horror and hilarious for all the reasons stated above. Go watch! 2. Whatever you do, don't see the trailer first. Of all the "Here's the entire movie in two minutes" attrocities we've seen lately, it's the very worst. 3. Seriously, you should see it.

Husband's reaction: "I saw the birds right away. That means I'm not gay, right?"

Ah, good point.

Just to pick nits, the Crouching Tiger characters aren't sisters. (Michelle Yeoh becomes a mentor of sorts to Zhang Ziyi, a governor's daughter about to get married, who envies her life as a free sword fighter and merchant. But Michelle can't show the girl what independence has cost her, or keep her from making…

This is wonderfully demented. I'll be sorely disappointed if the "director general's offices" in the eyeball don't contain at least a moderately sized chesterfield lounge, library and trophy room.

According to Scandinavian media he survived by eating snow, so no need to pull a Bear Grylls. The doctors also hypothesize that he was overweight to begin with, or he wouldn't have survived the loss of body fat.

The costumes lead me to conclude that navels and male nipples are either sacred to Barsoomians, or function as their reproductive organs.

Lucky you.

Because obviously, it's impossible for someone to honestly enjoy something you don't, or which geekdom consensus dictates we should hate.

Can't say I was eager for a reboot at this point—but then I rewatched Dr. Parnassus recently and realized Andrew Garfield was the totally wonderful Anton I remembered. He's an extremely expressive actor and I think he'll bring something unique to the role. It looks pretty exciting too, but as you say it's hard to…

1408 messed so thoroughly with my head that I can't even remember if there were actual ghosts in it...but there was definitely lots of haunting going on, i.e. Scary Shit. Deserves a spot on the list. (The Orphanage was wonderful but not all that scary, and the Grudge remake was incredibly lame.)

Didelphis virginiana thinks you should just wear your young like a normal person.

You win 100 internets for Spader-man and Nick Furry! But sadly you lost them all for "Sir Ian McKellan". Why does everyone get this wrong? Drives me mad, it does.

It only went for a few spots of glow ink though, and the contacts are really crap. It's a cheapskate.

Paul Brooke. He's one of those reliable British character actors who pop up everywhere, I remember him fondly from a lot of things (though tbh I just remembered him as Paul Something and had to look up the rest).

Doesn't sound much like Kafka I agree, but it's from his novella In the Penal Colony.

Her bittersweet solo number "A Perfect Little Caesarean" is also reprised at the end to great effect.

Franz Kafka: The perfectly average vampire Edward C inexplicably wakes up one morning as a human. Everyone including his family ignore him because public records list him as long dead, and he eventually gives up trying to navigate the absurd legal bureaucracy to prove he exists. A group of highly annoying werewolves…

You and me both.

Aslo the most attrocious 3D conversion in recent history, which I made the very uninformed decision of paying to see. Ugh! It ruined even the decent parts of the movie for me. The Kraken looked like a kindergartener pieced it together out of felt and dustbunnies.