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"At least I called him Jonathan," Devine said angelically.

"The suspect is described as a 29-year-old Black female, 5' 06" tall and weighing 347 pounds with black hair and brown eyes."

She's ready for bed, bath salts, and beyond.

That's a big forehead

A selection of mug shots from the California's most wanted list the Sacramento Bee produced? Sure.

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That same post had this evil comment by MattinglysSideburns.

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"Two Stroke Victims"

This reminds me of a buddy of mine in college, especially the types of activities Dugan is drawn to after his accident. My friend had hopes of becoming a mathematician until he was in his bike accident and also suffered a severe brain injury. It was a real setback, and he had to give up his dream. I lost touch with…

A gangbang video at a WWI memorial? Why not? Let them celebrate time spent in the trench.

"...and then Chipper Jones hypnotizes him into becoming an assassin."

Grilled halloumi (or some other whole milk grillable cheese) wrapped in bacon. Use toothpicks to keep it together. Grill it. Do not eat the toothpicks.

Free red wine, which makes it taste that much better.

Expect Tim Tebow to begin shopping for a home in CT, due his having "a high FICA score."

A 45-day suspension for milkshaking also stained Elsie's career at Borden.

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Mr. AD, what's your function?