If there’s a market for Velveeta and non-dairy coffee creamer, you cannot tell me that the taste *has* to be spot-on. Make it cheap enough, and people will accept close enough.

Bernie is basically america’s favorite hoody. A little worn out, totally worn in, too old to care about appearances, and an intrinsic statement on income inequality.

Maybe a goofus and gallant version where you see one group obey, and one group doesn’t, and at the end, the first group is like “why do you guys look so ragged? why are half of you missing. This was not a difficult thing to do. They even gave us rules.”

It wasn’t until I watched the full debate last night and his closing remarks about how wonderful his democratic opponents are and the decorum they all showed that I realized he never intended to be elected president. Strategically speaking, he’s literally just following Peter Florrick’s plot line from this season of Th…

Yeah, there’s a mirage of power around her. She’s definitely powerful in H-wood considering she’s one of the only true movie stars that sells tickets. But she’s still talent and therefore not THAT powerful. There’s a difference between calling out systematic injustice in your own industry and biting hands that have…

Girl still has to work. She names names, shit will get hard quick. Give her a break.

How “lucky” we are to live in the West, where we have these imaginary lines drawn between “work” and “home.” Never mind that we now have companies arguing for “work-life integration,” we still must keep kids entirely out of the way lest they interrupt us.

I used to comment regularly on Jezebel for years (under a different name) and stopped because of the feeling the author describes when someone she assumed would be an ally made her feel unwelcome.

Me too. Or a blend of dead and in the witness protection. David who?

I pretend my exes are dead. It’s just easier that way.

My lifelong policy of scorched earth post breakup behavior has served me well. You don’t want to be with me? Just fiiiiiiiiine. I. No. Longer. Exist.

That’s the one I always find baffling. I don’t think it’s impossible to be friends, or at least friendly, with an ex. But you can’t dump someone and expect to immediately transfer to this close friendship. What kind of loony tunes do you have to be to think so?

Adult Friend Finder? (the word “friend” is right in the name)

I also feel like if you are friends BEFORE you are involved you have a better chance of going back to a friends state after. And what I mean by friends before is saying that there was a significant period of time (like a year) when both of you spent time together and nothing romantic was on the table and you actually…

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

I don’t know... she already used Shake it Off...

I was actually talking with my husband about the weirdness of what’s appropriate professionally vs. personally for me. Every now and then, I think about what I’m saying and how totally fucking weird it would be at a cocktail party to say, “you’re divorced? Tell me about why that marriage ended.”

Wow.

We should start a club! we can call it “Strangers Cannot Really Empathize Without Offensive Fact Findings” or S.C.R.E.W. O.F.F. for short. (I realize how much I stretched there but trust me it was way easier than attempting F.U.C.K. O.F.F. instead)

I had open-heart surgery as a toddler, 40 years ago. The scar is very prominent and I make no attempts to cover it. I’ve had it all my life so it’s not a traumatic thing for me, and I still will make up stuff like this sometimes because it’s not random person on the street’s business.